Monday, January 5, 2009

Oops!

Seems I forgot I had a blog. Silly me!
I do intend to come back here soon. I really need it now.

Just heard tonight that my MIL's doctor has given her 3-6 months to live. The amount of grief and guilt my sweet Hub is carrying is getting heavier. I pray that I can do what's needed to lighten his load.
I am tired. I wish the world was perfect. Actually, I really wish that Jesus was returning. I am ready to live in my one true home. Not in a suicidal way, just in an "it would be so wonderful to see my savior face to face every day for the rest of my life, and live in my glorified body, and have no more sorrow" kind of way.

I am also so very heartbroken for a dear friend of mine. She has lost her second baby in less than a year. I have been so burdened for her in the last week. I feel the need to pray for her at least 8 or 10 times a day. I mean, really pray hard. At church on Sunday, the Spirit moved in me so strong for her. It was during praise and worship. And while we were singing one song, I felt an overwhelming need to pray for her. As the music played, I prayed. At the end of my prayer, and the end of the song, I knew that the next song was one that I would sing and pray for her. Here are the lyrics:

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I’m Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
’Cause nothing else could ever take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

You’re all I want
You’re all I’ve ever needed
You’re all I want
Help me know You are near


I was in tears by the end of the song. I really feel like God was saying that I can pray for her, that He will listen to my prayers as if it were her. I feel like right now, when she is at her lowest, in need of more than any human can give her, when only God can help, this is when I can step up. I can't imagine how hard each and every minute must be right now. And I know, when I am at my lowest, it is so hard to pray. And I have never dealt with such a hard thing.
So, if all I can do is pray, that is what I will do. And now is the time when she can use my prayers the most.
So, mama, if somehow you manage to stumble upon this, know that I will pray for you. Now, when you can't pray, when even breathing seems hard, I will stand in the gap for you, I will pray as if I am you, seeking God's comfort, peace, and love.

1 comment:

Aaron and Kristen said...

YOU are the best-est friend a person could ask for. I am so honored to call you friend and that God has lead us together...I am humbled by the love you have for me and my family ((hugs)).