Monday, September 22, 2008

Not Me Monday

Some Monday fun!! I'm still new to blogging but I love
MckMama's Not Me Monday's, so I had to give it a go!
  • I did not bribe the boys with candy Sunday at church. I am not the mama who will try to keep them quiet any way possible. I mean, really, NOT.ME.
  • I did not eat a half a bag of Doritos knowing full well that Hub will not even kiss me if I faintly smell like Doritos. I did not go on to eat the rest of the bag later.
  • I was most certainly not the mother overhead saying "If you will behave and quit running around all crazy, I will take you to Sonic for lunch" in the shoe store. That was not me.
  • And I definitely did not spend 20 minutes trying to figure out how to link to MckMama's blog for this post without just leaving the http:// stuff all in there. I did not get all bent out of shape when I couldn't figure out how to make the link all pretty like I can make it look on my message board. I did not get mad and mumble not nice words under my breath. I did not!!!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

In-law Woes

My in-laws love their son, and their grandsons, they really do. I know it. I do.
It's just, they don't like me so much.
As a mother, there are things I can see now about that, that I understand more. My MIL does not want to share her son. And now that I have three sons, I can see that. But my sons are little, and I don't have to share them now. But my job as their mother, is to raise them to be good husbands and fathers someday. And how can I do that if I don't learn to share?
The first time my MIL met my mother, a few months before my wedding, MIL asked my mother a question. Mom wisely did not tell me about this question until many years later. MIL wanted to know if I was going to get in the way of her relationship with Hub. My mother stammered out some sort of reply and the conversation moved on. Mom told me that inside, the answer she was gave was, "I sure hope so!"
You see, I was taught that when you get married, your spouse became the person who came first in your life. After all, God even says so:

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24

But it's not actually true for my MIL. I remember many conversations I have had with her over the years. She has said that her children are more important to her than her husband. She even did her darnedest to raise her two boys to dislike their father and think he was a mean, spiteful, vengeful man. To this day, Hub worries about how his father will react to anything he might tell him that is different than FIL wants to hear, but always thinks his poor, delicate, flower of a mother is always there to soothe his brow.
My MIL sits on her sons' laps; she lays her head in their laps and caresses their faces. I have even seen her play footsies under the table with Hub. It is often disturbing.

Unfortunately, the past year and a half has been even harder to deal with my MIL. You see, now she is physically sick. She was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in March of 2007. She had a good first year of chemo but now things aren't going as well. This illness has made her even more manipulative. She and my FIL are working on their wills. They have a considerable amount of money and land to leave to their sons. At one point, everything was to be split evenly between Hub and his brother. Now, not so much. One day, about 6 weeks ago, MIL finally told Hub why his 50% inheritance had dwindled to about 15%. She is very angry because he did not move back "home" when she got sick.
My sweet, soft-hearted husband, the peacemaker in his family, is heartbroken. He already feels guilty because he can't be there more often, but to have it spoken, and thrown in his face in such a way is terrible. His brother is even chewing him out over it as well. Every time we see them now, or talk on the phone, there is some reference to how Hub isn't doing enough.
Because Hub and I (together, I might add) have chosen to live a simple life, to put our faith and trust in the Lord instead of the world, Hub is told that he doesn't understand about money. That he is too simple minded to "get" the real world. And that he needs to be back home where his family can take care of him. I am viewed as an outsider, an interloper, weird and different. They think that I have corrupted him. After all, he never talked about God answering prayers, or homeschooling, or working two jobs so his wife could stay home with the kids before I came in the picture.

When Hub and I first met, we wanted the same things. We wanted a big house, nice cars and the money to take a nice vacation every year. We even discussed going on a long European vacation.
But then God started working on us. We were both raised in Christian homes, even if those Christian homes were just for looks. We knew God, and had both even made a commitment to follow Him. But only in the general sense. Then we started talking about having children. We knew we wanted to raise them in church, but we weren't actually going to church. But that still small voice was there telling us there was something different out there. And we started searching. We eventually landed in a non-denominational, full gospel church, where Sunday service started at 10:30 and ended whenever the Spirit let us end. Both of us having been raised southern baptist, this was a change, a drastic change. If not for the fact that my mother and step-father were attending the church, we would have run for the hills. But God had plans for us.
And we stayed.

I had decided to go back to college a few years before this and was in the midst of getting my bachelor's in accounting. Hub was teaching 6th grade. So, we were still on the career driven path. But then Dino came along. And everything changed. My world shifted. Suddenly, I realized my role in life. No longer was mediocrity okay. God had given me the greatest gift and I wanted to be worthy of it. Of course, there is no way that I can ever be worthy. I am here by grace, there is nothing else. But I came to realize that no one else would be able to instill in my child the love of God like I could. And if I started from the beginning, maybe I could spare him untold heartache. I know that I cannot protect my children from pain, but if I can lead them to God, from the beginning, and help them realize that He is the only thing in this life that truly matters, then I have done the greatest thing a mom can do.
It is all about God. He is the one and only thing that matters in this world. No amount of money is going to get me to heaven.
But even more than that, I want to be intimate with Him. Just getting to heaven, just getting in the door isn't enough for me anymore. I want to be close to Him, I want to know that I have done all that He has asked of me, I want Him to be pleased with my life.
And how wonderful it will be to know that I helped my children along their journey too.
What more can I do? Or even better, how could I do less?

There is nothing I want for my children more than intimacy with their heavenly Father. And if I have to give up the world and it's money to do so, then so be it.
Most importantly, my husband, the head of my household, feels the same way. He is striving toward a closer relationship with God. And together, we have found that what the world thinks is important, isn't quite so important. Gone are the dreams of big, fancy houses and big, fast cars. The dream of traveling through Europe isn't gone, it's just postponed until God gives us the green light. Maybe someday, it will be a mission trip instead of a trip-around-the-world. And that's okay. In fact, it's even better!
But I can't ease Hub's pain and the words of his family. Every time we see them, every single time, FIL takes Hub aside privately and tells him that he has to make me go to work and put the children in school. And now that MIL is sick, everything has the added pressure of doing things to make her happy. And nothing would make her happier than if Hub and the boys moved back "home."
Yes, that's right, her happiest would be without me. But she would grudgingly accept it if I had to come, too.
But that's not what God wants for me and Hub and our children. And my in-laws just don't understand.

It's taken me a long time to be able to let go of some of my anger toward my in-laws. And as this post shows, I still haven't let go of all of it. When my MIL was first diagnosed, I couldn't even pray for her. I have finally worked through that and I do pray now. And I pray that I can let go of my hurt and anger toward her and my FIL. It is what I know God wants of me. God wants me to be the best wife and mother I can be.


Time seems to move by so fast sometimes. A week goes by and I think just a day or two has passed.
Dino and Frog have swim lessons right now; Monday and Wednesday, at the Y. They start at 5 and end at 6:30. Frog goes first, then Dino. I get in the pool and entertain the other while the other other is having a lesson. Wait, back up, did you read that right? I get in the pool! That means I put on a swimsuit!!!! Before this summer, I had not had on a swimsuit since I was pregnant with Dino, back in 2002. Yikes! I do not look good in a swimsuit. But I decided it was more important to swim with the boys than to maintain some misplaced sense of dignity.
So, Monday and Wednesday, we have swim lessons. And Monday, Hub has bible study, so by the time we get home from swimming, he has gotten home, showered, eaten and left again. Tuesday is a normal day, generally speaking. Thursday is our busy day. We have a homeschool group meeting. Last week, we had a Spanish lesson; the week before, we went on a field trip. This coming Thursday, I am doing a science experiment. Yikes!!! I still have to get all my stuff together for that! But, to get back to the busyness, Thursday evening, mom and I have bible study. Hub gets home and gets a quick shower and then I leave. Often, I don't get home until after he's in bed. Then Friday is usually a normal day. Saturday's are always up for grabs. Sometimes Hub works, sometimes not. And then Sunday's are always full. We go to Sunday School and church in the morning, somehow manage a bite to eat and a nap in the afternoon. And in the evening, it's back to church. During the public school year, we have AWANA. The kids all love it. Hub helps out with the 3rd-6th graders. My mom helps out with the 3-4 year olds, and I go to a prayer group meeting for the first hour and church for the second hour.
Phew! I'm out of breath just thinking about it all. And that is just talking about the evenings.

Hub works four 10 hour days a week. His normal schedule is Mon-Thurs, 7-5. But he will occasionally work Friday and Saturday. He works outside so if there's is too much rain, he has to miss work, so it will be made up Friday or Saturday. And those days work as comp time for him if there aren't rain days in a week. And he has a part-time job as well. The pt job is in a retail store. He will work maybe 20-30 hours a month. But with the holiday season coming up, he can work more. The past month, we have had a lot of rain, so he has missed several days of work. He's gotten paid by using his comp time, but we were hoping to save it up. But he has also gotten to work at his pt job during the rain, which has been a huge blessing!

So, this pointless blog entry has accomplished nothing I set out to accomplish. I intended to write about homeschooling. I guess I can start now.
This year, Dino is in first grade. Last year, we used Sonlight curriculum. I really liked it. I liked that it was laid out for me, day by day, and told me exactly what to do. And I liked that it was literature based because I like to read. But it is very expensive. So I wanted to look at some other options. I decided to try My Father's World this year. It is much less expensive, which is nice, and it also lays everything right out there, telling me what to do when. It does rely more on the public library for the literature, which is why it is less expensive than Sonlight. And that has been the one drawback for me. We don't get to the library very often. It's hard when there are at least 5 children (4 of whom need carseats all the time) here every day and other things to occupy your time. I haven't yet figured out how to make a weekly trip to the library. But we'll get there. In the meantime, we have plenty of books here to read. I love books! And I would love to buy every book we use for homeschooling, but it isn't practical, or economical. So we'll make it to the library more often!

Thursday, September 11, 2008


It seems as if these days you can't turn on the television or internet without seeing something about the upcoming election. And it is driving me nuts!!!!
I am not a political person. I will even admit that I have only voted three times in my life; once when I was 19 and in college, and the other two times were the previous presidential elections. Not a stellar voting record.
And most of the time, I don't really care to get involved. I care about our country and the lack of morals and values we have now, but I've never felt burdened to do anything about it. Maybe it was because before I had children, I was a very selfish person and nothing that didn't directly involve me didn't matter as much.
But since I have had children, so much has changed. Sounds cliché, but true nonetheless. Now I want to show, by my example, the way things work. I don't believe our government always works but I should be involved. The problem I am finding now, is that I am not exactly your average American. I don't line up completely with either of the two main parties. That said, I am registered republican and do mainly agree with that platform. But I haven't yet discovered what I really want out of my government.
No questions asked, I am pro-life and I believe the Bible to be God's Holy Word and could not knowingly vote for anyone who favored legislation that tried to bring our country further from the Word. That fact alone prevents me from even wanting to vote democrat.
But from there, things are different. In theory, I am against big government but, unfortunately, people aren't doing their part the way they should, and many people are doing without so much. I feel like there should be some help for people who need it, but I also feel that so many take advantage. I'd say, I fall more into the libertarian camp there.
As for war, I feel as such a strong nation, we should be available to help struggling countries. But I'm not sure exactly how and when.
I do feel that gun control isn't going to do what some people think it will. And we are given a constitutional right to bear arms.
I guess, I have many feelings about many issues, but none of my feelings seems to match up with any party or candidate.
At this point in time, if we were to vote tomorrow, I would be voting for McCain. He is closer to my way of thinking than any other.

But the main thing I feel right now is anger. I have spent way too much time on the internet reading way too much information that makes me mad. I have been involved in a few online message boards for a few years. One of the sites is a big one that I use some of their software but don't chat with the other ladies all that much. And then the other two sites I frequent, I chat a lot and have made quite a few friends. The big site has a place for conservatives and liberals to talk, separately, and then a debate board for them to discuss. This is mainly where I get the angriest. The liberals I have run across here are just hateful. Anyone who has a different opinion is uneducated, close-minded, racist, or just plain dumb. And it's making me so mad. I know, logically, that I just shouldn't read, but I find myself drawn there. It's getting ridiculous.
I am now trying to avoid places like that that get me going. I realize I have this blog and I am going to use it to get my feelings out and then give it to God. I can't take on the world. It's not my personal job to make this country a Christian country. I can do my part but only go so far.

And now I realize that maybe in the past, I wasn't involved in politics because of this very reason. I make it personal. If someone doesn't agree with my beliefs and make derogatory remarks about those beliefs, I take it as a personal slap in the face.
I asked the ladies in my bible study group to pray for me, to help me let go of the anger. And I do feel a bit better now. One of the ladies gave me a verse from Chronicles that has helped a lot. 2 Chronicles 20:15-17

And he said, Listen, all Judah, and you people of Jerusalem, and King Jehoshaphat! So says Jehovah to you, Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude. For the battle is not yours, but God's.
Tomorrow go down against them. Behold, they come up by the cliff of Ziz. And you shall find them at the end of the valley, before the wilderness of Jeruel.
You shall not fight in this battle. Set yourselves and stand, and see the salvation of Jehovah with you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not fear nor be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, for Jehovah will be with you.

It is not my battle! Wow! That's so great! It's not my battle. And even if a the democrats win this election, it's okay. God is with me. And He still gets the glory. He can use anyone, even the enemy, to His divine purpose. So I have no reason to be angry. God is good, and He's good all the time, in all circumstances. Hallelujah!!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A Little Background

So, our family is not the norm these days. Hub and I and the boys live with my mom and step-dad. We originally made the move just two days before Frog was born, and out of necessity. The house we were living in was going to be sold and we were not the ones going to be buying it. We could have waited a bit longer to move, but we felt that it would be easier to just bring Frog home and not have to move when he was a couple of months old. (But I would not recommend moving that close to delivery.)
After some time, we all began to see what a wonderful plan God had in store for us. It became very clear that His idea was for us to live together always. It has been a tremendous blessing to live the way we do. The biggest blessing has been the fact that I am able to stay home all the time with the boys. Had we not lived here, there would have been many instances where Hub's salary alone would not have carried us. But we do live here and I am able to be home with my children. There have been many sacrifices along the way, but they have all been worth it. There are actually things that I find I don't really miss all that much. TV, for one. We still have TV but we have cut it down to just a few channels. If you had asked me 8 years ago if having a handful of channels was something I'd be doing, I would have bet against it. I was addicted to the television. Once I started giving my life, my whole life, over to the Lord, He started making some big changes in me. My desire for TV has been one. Movies as well. Used to be, Hub and I could go into a video store and would have a hard time finding a movie to rent that we hadn't already seen. Now, I don't even recognize any of the movies on the shelves. Well, actually, I can't remember the last time I went into a video store, and when I did, I had no idea what any of the movies were about. Before I met Hub, and before we had children, I loved to stay up late and watch the Academy Awards. I would even try to not have to work the day after. I planned on making it a family holiday when I had kids; we would all stay up late to watch. I figured that they could just miss school the next day. How far I have come! Not a clue what goes on in the Academy anymore. And don't want to know now, to tell the truth.

So, back to the original start of this blog, our living situation. My step-dad goes to work M-F and Hub works M-Th and sometimes on Friday. He also has a part-time job that he works one weekend a month"ish". My mom stays home and has some children she looks after. These children are now family. She started keeping K eight years ago. His parents lived next door and kept asking mom to watch him. She kept saying "No." But God finally got through to her. K's parents split when he was 6 months old and until he was two, they spend most of the time hiding him from each other and fighting over custody. At one point, my mom and step-dad invited K's mother to move in with them and gave her money for a lawyer. Both of K's parents were unbelievers and had been raised believing that only the weak need God. When K's mom moved in with my parents, her life changed. She is now saved! Praise God! She was able to get joint custody of K with her ex-husband. But he only wanted full so he stopped seeing K. In the six years since the custody hearing, he has only seen K a handful of times.
K's mom got remarried five years ago and they have two children- H(4) and G(2). Mom still takes care of them while their parents work.

So, at 7:15 each morning, we get three more children added to the fun. Mom takes K to school and is back home by 8:30. And from then on out, it's five kids to chase around. So when people wonder about the socialization of my wild homeschooled bunch, I just let them know it's like a daycare every day at our house.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


I struggle sometimes with my faith. Not really my faith, but some of the details.

For instance, I know that I am saved. I know that someday I will be in heaven and get to see my wonderful savior face to face, or maybe I'll be on my face on the ground, but I know I'll be there someday.

Where I struggle is in the little things. There are so many people out there who believe in God and Jesus but people seem to believe differently. Right now, I am part of a "fringe" group in my church because I am meeting with some other women for a bible study that is not the mainstream Baptist way of doing things. For instance, I believe that it is the will of God that every person on earth be healthy and healed of all disease. Obviously, we aren't but I feel that it is God's will that we should be. Others will often pray something along the lines of "Lord, if it is your will, please heal my sister of cancer." Blah! It's always God's will that we be healed. There are so, so many verses that show that but one of my favorite is Psalm 103:1-5 (emphasis mine):

A Psalm of David. Bless Jehovah, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless Jehovah, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits; who forgives all your iniquities; who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from ruin; who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies; who satisfies your mouth with good; your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

I mean, He heals all our diseases! How awesome is that? But when you talk to someone who isn't sure, well, the problems come up. I know people who truly believe that the bible is the word of God but don't think that He heals. They believe He can heal but that He doesn't often. Which might be true, sorta. Obviously, not everyone who prays is healed. And oftentimes there is another plan at work in someone's sickness. But it is God's will to heal. We let Satan and ourselves get in the way of that healing.

Sunday, August 24, 2008


The boys got these bracelets at church last Sunday. They were asked only to take them if they would agree to pray for China every day. Dino thought about it for a bit and even passed at first, but then he came back and asked to get one. Of course, then Frog had to have one, too.

But, we have them now and it has opened up some discussion. It's hard to explain to children this young about persecution and fear. They don't get why people who live in China cn't worship God freely. It makes no sense to them, which I love. I want them to worship freely and be puzzled by why people wouldn't or couldn't. This makes them question and want to do something about it.

For now, we are praying every day for the people in China, and missionarys everywhere.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Blessed Be Your Name

I have a friend who is trying to decide when or if she wants to have another child. She has two beautiful daughters and then just a few months ago, she lost a precious babe in her second trimester of pregnancy. No reason; the little one was just gone. Now, she has been struggling over whether she can go through something like that again. Someone told her that when the desire for another child was stronger than her fear of losing another child, then she would be ready.
I can't help her right now. I can only listen and give hugs. I have never gone through what my friend has had to face. I did have a miscarriage a few years ago. But it was very early; I had only known I was pregnant for two weeks. Not that it didn't hurt and not that I didn't have a rough go of it for a bit. But it doesn't compare to losing a child that you have started to feel move, or losing a child that you've held in your arms. That is a pain that I cannot imagine. I guess that's a pain that no one can imagine until they have gone through it.
I was listening to the radio earlier today and "Blessed Be Your Name" came on and I was singing away. I was reminded of the Steven Curtis Chapman concert Hub and I went to a few weeks ago. He opened with that song. He said that it was the song that kept coming to him in the early hours after his daughter's accident. I was in tears just thinking about what that must be like. Then he came to the part of the song "you give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." He broke down singing "take away." Everyone in the audience was still and teary, and then he invited everyone to sing. It was truly amazing listening to all these people singing along with SCC and sharing his pain. The entire concert was moving and awe-inspiring. The fact that a person can go through such an horrific loss and still cling to God is what defines a faithful person. I want to be a person like that. So far, I have been. But I haven't had to lose what others have had to lose.
I read a lot of other blogs. I have recently come across a few that deal with losing a child. And I sit and read and cry along as I'm reading. And I've noticed that the blogs that are written by Christians have a decidedly different feel. When a person has hope and faith in God, even when the darkness surrounds them, the light can still be found.
I pray that I can remember that and cling to God if I am ever surrounded by darkness.
After all, He has given me so much and I have three wonderful blessings He entrusted to me. And I have to teach them the right way; the way to God.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

False Start

So, I think I had a false start on this blog. I had intended to have a place where I could write down my thoughts and just let whatever I was thinking and feeling come out on the page. But then I got stage fright. I read some really awesome blogs. They are written by some really wonderful women, and they are written much better than my blog will ever be written.
And, now I realize, that's okay. I don't have to be the best, most brilliant writer in the world. I only need to be myself.
So, with that in mind, I intend to start new, start fresh and be me. Though, for now, I still want to be me anonymously. ;)

Monday, August 4, 2008


Man, here I go and start a blog and never update it! So here goes a big, fat update!

I have some great friends! When I went to visit my friends a couple of weeks ago, I found myself surrounded by women who were incredible! These were women I had never met in person before but I felt a strong, intimate connection to them immediately! We have been chatting online for almost two years now and we share the most personal details of our lives. So, while I had never touched them in the flesh, I have touched, and been touched by them through the heart. We have shared many pictures of ourselves and our families, so when I got off the airplane, and found two wonderful women (and three adorable little girls) waiting for me at baggage claim, I knew them immediately. And they were even more wonderful than I had expected!
The thing that totally blew me away was that I was not self-conscious at all! I was with 7 other women, all of whom were shorter and much thinner than I, and I did not worry about what I looked like the entire time! I even wore a bathing suit; something I have not done in almost six years!!
We were all able to just sit and talk and be totally free with each other. The hardest part was having to say goodbye. I feel like I have truly made friends for life.
And to think, I met them all on the Internet. That sounds so bizarre!

And then, this past Friday, Hub and I had a date night. We don't get those very often, and usually even when we plan one, something comes up. This time, we bought tickets to go see Steven Curtis Chapman, and once we had the tickets, well, we couldn't not go.
Let me just say, I haven't been to a concert in years. And the last one I went to was, oh my goodness, Richard Marx at Carrowinds in the early 90's. Yikes! And I've never been to a Christian concert.
Well, let me say, I will be going to more in the future!
So, back to SCC... we arrived at the concert, which was at the Biltmore House just before sunset.

And now, I must end this blog. I hate to stop now, but I must. I do have more to say about the concert, so I will continue tomorrow.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Home again!

I'm home for a bit, only to be gone again in a few days.
I really have so much I want to blog about but so little time these days.

Considering getting rid of cable for the tv and just having the computer. Trying to keep the boys from watching too much tv and from being on the computer too much. Really want to just put them in a box and shelter them from the whole world.
But I know we can't do that.

I'm also getting nervous about my trip this week. I am going to meet up with some friends that I met online. We met when we were all pegnant with our little ones who are now about 18 months old. We met on a site and I didn't post much during pregnancy. But when we went to another place for just us, I got to know some great women. And then a few of us (12 in all) left that site and started one. It is now just us 12 and all the women are Christian, which is hard to find online sometimes. We have shared so much since our little ones were born. And somehow, 8 of us are getting together!!! I'm so excited!
Very nervous, too. I'm taking Monkey and leaving the other boys home. We're flying and I'm not sure how Monkey will do.
I have been so blessed by these women and have tried to bless in return. And I am so anxious to meet them this week.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Sometimes it looks so easy!

So, things are going to get busy for me in the next few days. Saturday, Hub and I and the boys are going to spend some time with the in-laws. They have a vacation house a few hours from us, but several hours from them. Every year sometime around the fourth, we get together with MIL, FIL, BIL and his wife and kids.
And then, we'll come home Sunday, do laundry, re-pack, and hit the road again Monday. My mom and I and the boys will be leaving to visit my mom's family. It will take a couple of days in the car, with stops and all. And we'll be gone until the following Sunday.

Wow! Just written down like that makes it all seem like it will be easy! But nothing ever is. There is a lot of background not yet shared. My in-laws, well, my in-laws and my relationship with them (and Hub's, too) deserves its own post. Let's just say that though they go to church every Sunday, I'm not 100% sure they're saved. And that makes it hard when you are truly living your life for God.

Anyway, writing here gives me some release, so I know that at some point I will talk about my in-laws. In the meantime, I pray, a lot.

Monday, June 30, 2008


I've been having a tough few days. Hub has some things going on with his job that I can't fix. And what is really interesting to me, is that God is being very clear that my job right now is to just pray for him and let it go. And if you knew me personally, you'd know that that seems impossible.
But right now, God wants me to let go. I have to trust in God, to trust that He is in control and that He has Hub in the palm of His hand. I also have to trust Hub. Yikes! The things we have to do sometimes. Gulp!

There are some things I know for certain in my earthly life, one of them is that I can trust Hub. I trust him with every fiber of my being. But when it comes to matters of God, I am afraid that Hub isn't ready yet to trust God completely, to submit to His will. And that is where I have a hard time trusting Hub. It just so happens that in our Christian walk, I am a little bit further ahead. And I want to turn around and help Hub catch up. But I can't do it for him. And I can't drag him along either.
So right now, I am trying to tame my tongue and let Hub decide what moves he is to make. And I am not very good at it. I have a strong personality. And I tend to think that my way is the right way most of the time. When in all truth, if my way is the right way, it's only because God was right first and passed it along to me.

You know, God is so amazing. I started this post thinking about all the things Hub is doing wrong, and now, I realize it's me who's doing wrong. My job as a wife is to support my husband. I should be doing whatever I can to help him draw closer to God. I need to pray for him, I need to encourage him, I need to treat him with respect. And I don't do that nearly enough.
My husband is a wonderful man. He is kind-hearted, he is extremely loving, he is a terrific father, and he's my best friend. He is doing what he can to ensure that I am able to stay home with our children, even when sometimes it means he has to do something he doesn't like.
He's awesome and I love him so much. And I should tell him more often.

Sunday, June 29, 2008


Prayer is such an effective tool to use for God. I just wish we would use it more. Right now I want to pray for my family, Hub especially, my church, that it will be filled with the Spirit, and for my friends. I have so many friends going through so many different struggles, from marriage issues, to worries for babies, born and unborn, to not being close to God. I pray for each of these things.

Tomorrow, when I'm fresh, and it's not so late, I want to post more, because I have grown so much this weekend.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Beginning

So, let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start) and I'll introduce myself. I have no reason to believe that this blog will be the most popular one in the blogsphere but I have decided to be anonymous anyway.
With that in mind, I am Mae. I am in my late 30's and have been happily married to Hub for over 10 years. We have three wonderful sons, Dino is almost 6 and we have completed our first full year of homeschooling and he is the smartest kindergarten graduate I know; Frog, almost 4, is our second son and a very determined young man; finally, bringing up the rear is Monkey, our absolutely fearless baby, who was 1 in February.

This blog will probably be a mix of all kinds of topics I find interesting. And it will not be grammatically correct all the time, because I tend to type the way I speak, with lots of run-on sentences and incorrectly placed pauses and commas. I have already had to work at making sure that I teach the boys proper grammar and language knowing that I will be their main teacher. So while I may not type properly at all times, I will be doing my best to teach them correctly.

I will also be blogging about my faith. I have been a Christian for what feels like all my life, but it's only recently that I truly started desiring a close, personal relationship with Jesus. There are a lot of things I am learning and I don't always understand it all, so there are moments of wonder, fear, excitement, awe, amazement, concern, conviction, and all kinds of other emotions. And because I am human, I won't always appear to be the model Christian that people expect.

So, that's a bit about me. Not the whole story by any means, but a start.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


My first blog! Wow! Have I really hit the big time!
I'm not sure what I want this blog to be about and if I want it to be for me only or others. Time will tell. Until then, I will just be dabbling and trying to figure out how things work.