Friday, December 30, 2011


As the year comes to a close and a new one dawns, we tend to look back and weigh the year to see if it met our expectations. Children are born, people die, new jobs start, old jobs end, books read, houses purchased, divorces, separations, hellos, goodbyes, the list could go on and on. In the end, we put the year into a plus or minus, red or black, good or bad.

But I don't want to do that this year. Yes, the year has held some ups and downs, but any year that ends, and any year that I can reflect on is a good year. I'm alive. I'm here. I lived through another year. And even if I didn't survive the year, ignoring the fact that I wouldn't be writing this post, it would mean that I was present with my Lord. So how can it not turn out to be a good year?

I don't make resolutions. Resolutions are broken, never kept. And truly, anything important enough to be made into a resolution should be put into practice as soon as you realize the need, well before January 1st rolls around again.
There are some things in my life that I am trying to improve. The number one most important thing is my relationship with Christ. It always seems as if that is the first thing I let go. Then others follow quickly. And I could make a list a mile long of things I wanted to do better, ways to improve myself, things I wanted to accomplish. But I have no hope of ever being able to cross those things off my list permanently without the help of Jesus. Sure, maybe I could get better for a time, or change for a season, but real, honest improvement comes for the Lord.

It's so easy to forget the little things. Breath, air, sleep, food, clothing, the ability to walk, water, being able to read, laughter, tears, friendship, love. All of those things come from God. I can strive to attain all of those things for myself, I can even fool myself into thinking I have them. But without God, it's all just an illusion. He is love. He is the giver of every good and perfect gift. It is only because of Him that I wake up every morning, take a breath, take a step, live my life. The thing I hope most to accomplish this coming year is to draw closer to Him.

Without Him, nothing else matters. When I reflect on the past year, it is Him I want to see, where He touched my life, the walk that we took together. When we look into a mirror we see our reflection. I hope, I pray that when I look into the mirror of each year that the reflection staring back at me is Him.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A new year, a new challenge

I have been completely slacking in the Bible reading department lately. I can't put my finger on why, but I just can't seem to keep it up. And it shows.

So when a friend sent me a link to the 3650 challenge, I was very intrigued. So intrigued that I decided to try it. I started gathering all the details, mentioned it to my mother (who then promptly decided she wanted to try it as well), and started preparing for January 1st. I even made myself an excel spreadsheet to use to keep track of my daily readings. There is a schedule for the challenge, but it's in more of a list form and I like seeing each chapter I need to read each specific day of the month. I'm really excited.

I read through the information about the challenge from the man who designed it, Grant Horner, and there were a couple of things that stood out to me in such clarity that I was awestruck. He talked about having occasionally done the reading in slightly different ways but that the key was to stick with it for at least 30 days. "The key is to get into a habit for a month. Then you'll see you've probably been starving yourself." A light bulb went off when I read that. I have been starving myself. I have not been spending time with my Lord. And that is something that should never happen. I should be spending time with Him daily.

One other thing that Grant Horner said was "Your Bible is the only thing on Earth that, as you wear it out, will actually work better and better." Wow! Another light bulb moment. Isn't that so true? If I am wearing out my Bible by reading it so much, well, then I am getting closer and closer to God. And as I get closer and closer to Him, my life will definitely get better and better.

I am so ready for this new challenge. I wonder why I waited so long.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Look at the Lord

Tonight, Monkey was playing with the Veggie Tales nativity. He asked if he could put it under the tree. I said fine and then went to look at it. He had arranged all of the figures facing in and I asked him why. He said, "They all want to look at the Lord."

I am struck by the fact that my almost 5 year old has such insight that many grown adults don't have. What matters most is that we look at the Lord.
It's such a struggle this time of the year. We are trapped in a crazy, plastic, jingly, artificial world that tells us to buy more stuff. It's like we've been hypnotized. We dash around like mad trying to find just the right thing for every person on our list. Even churches get in on it. There's all kinds of activities, everyone tries to outdo each other. There's plays, songs, crafts, each one bigger and better than last year. We whip ourselves into a frenzy and we forget what really matters.

I am trying to do it this year. I'm going to do my best to keep looking at the Lord.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Well hello stranger!

Hey, I have a blog. I'd almost forgotten.

And tonight isn't the night I'm going to resurrect it either. I do want to type a little just to remind myself of what I used to do.
Since I started knitting, I tend to do that in my evenings and typing doesn't fit. But I really have some things I would like to write about.

Maybe it'll happen.

Monday, August 15, 2011


What if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win,
We know the pain reminds this heart this is not, this is not our home.

This song ministers to my soul. It helps remind me that God hasn't left me, He hasn't forgotten me, He never changes, His mercies are new every morning, His promises are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Sometimes life bogs me down and I tend to wallow in self-pity. But I need reminders that He is always there to catch me, that it's me that runs away, He never leaves. And I can rest in that promise.
And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.  ~Deuteronomy 31:8

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Just call me Snaggletooth

Life.... it keeps right on happening even when we want it to slow down.

In the past month, so many things have happened that have given me reason to lean more on God. And yet, I still feel so far away from Him.
A friend from high school lost her 6 year old son. Another friend celebrated her daughter's 15th birthday even though she lost her daughter ten years ago.
Someone I know online lost her husband and must figure out how to raise her two young sons alone.

It's hard to know how to handle such grief.

And I am inadequate.

I am wallowing in my own little world of self-pity. Our car had to be towed to the mechanic. Our computer got a virus and we had to replace it. The boys are growing out of everything they own and need new clothes and shoes ASAP. And last night I lost a cap on one of my front teeth so a trip to the dentist is needed.

And then I feel guilty even spending a moment worrying about these small things when I have friends dealing with so much more.
I shouldn't even be worrying at all.

Matthew 6:25-34
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
  “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven,
will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
  “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day
is its own trouble.

Very clear, huh?
The day my friend was celebrating her daughter's birthday by visiting her grave, I had a panic attack. I've never had one before and I pray I never will again. Hub took Dino on a hiking trip with some other guys and their sons. I knew they were heading into the mountains and were going to be seeing some waterfalls. I kept picturing Dino falling. Over and over and over again I pictured it. I could feel my heart pounding, my pulse racing, I was sweaty, I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I can't imagine life without my boys. I don't want to be without them. I don't wish for them to beat me home.
But I have to rest in Him, I have to trust that He has a plan and it is right. If it is my plan to survive losing a child, so be it. I will have to survive it. And the only way I can is with God's help.

No, that's not quite right. I can't survive it at all. It would only be because God carried me through it, only because of Him. I can do nothing; it is the Holy Spirit in me that does what needs to be done.

Okay, yeah, so I'm really just babbling along here. Not even staying on topic. Huh.  But I feel lighter.
Father, thank you for being my Savior, my Comforter, my Protector, my Lord. Thank you for leading me the right way, for shining the light in the direction I must go. I pray that I will learn to follow Your commands, to live the life You have for me instead of trying to live the life I have in mind for me. Your way is perfect; You have the perfect plan for my life. I want to live that life. With Your help, I can. Lord, protect my family. Keep us all healthy and help us all to live long lives. But if that isn't in our plan, Father I ask that You be with us, carry us through any difficult times. Help us to remember that it is only through You that we can make it. I love You Abba.
In Jesus Holy Name, Amen.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

It's me

I'm struggling. I'm not gonna lie. I'm having a hard time getting into this session of Bible in 90 Days. I'm doing well with the ladies I am mentoring and I have no problem praying for them. But I can't get into the reading. There is something blocking me. And I haven't yet figured out what it is.

Er, that's not entirely true. I'm sitting in front of the computer night after night, watching stupid TV shows. I should be reading, but I'm not. Or at least, if I'm going to spend my evenings watching shows, I should find another time during the day to do my reading. But I find that I stay up too late. I've been watching some on Netflix and there is always another episode (or movie) waiting to be watched. And the clock creeps later and later and yet I still sit and watch. And then I'm so exhausted the next morning I sleep until one of the kids jumps on me. Sigh.

And it's not working for me.

I can feel that I am drifting further and further away from God. And I don't like it. But the human in me is being stubborn and refusing to give up my late nights.

And it's catching up with me. I am crabby, and cranky, and irritable, and I lose my temper easily.


I guess I do know what's blocking my reading. It's me.

I guess somewhere in the back of my mind (or not really in the back, it's right up front) I knew that I could catch up in the reading in August. Dino starts football practice on the 1st and I have three days a week, two hours at a time, to sit in the car and read. I did that last year. I really enjoyed those afternoons. I could focus on the Word and really grasp what I was reading.
But I wasn't behind when football started. And I was already in a good place in regards to reading. I wanted to be spending time in the Word. Right now I'm looking at it as a chore, something that has to be checked off my list. And I don't want to do that. I want to read for the right reasons.

And I do want to read right now. I just have to decide which is more important, God or TV. I know the right answer, I just have to act on that knowledge.  And the only way I can do that is with the help of the Holy Spirit. I have no strength to do it on my own. I must rely on Him.

So, from this point forward, I'm doing it. I refuse to give in to my sin nature any longer. I am going to put my Bible reading first, above everything else. I can do this. I will do this.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Comfort Zone

I stepped out of my comfort zone today. It was extremely hard, one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. There were plenty of opportunities for me to back out, but I kept moving forward and did it. And I am so glad I did. I was blessed in doing it and I know I can keep going forward.

So, what did I do you ask? Oh, you weren't asking? Well I'll just pretend you were and tell you anyway. 'Kay?

I like to sing. I'm one of those people you see driving down the road singing at the top of their lungs. I sing to the kids. I sing while doing housework. I don't actually sing in the shower, don't know why. When I was younger (high school and early 20's) I sang with the choir at church. But that's all. I've never sung by myself in front of people other than my family. I get very nervous and shake when I just talk in front of a big group. I am very shy and introverted.
So, it was amazing that I stood in front of the whole church this morning and sang with 3 other people.

I've been praying that God would show me a way that I could be of service to Him. I know that being the wife and mother He wants me to be is being of service, but I wanted to do more if it was something He was asking me to do. So I've been praying that He would show me.

Over the years, people who stood near me in church would tell me I had a good voice. I've heard it from family and friends. But I have never felt like I could do anything about it.
Last summer we started going to a new church. We felt like it was "home"; we knew God was calling us to this church. It has felt right from the beginning. And several of the people had again told me I had a good voice. One lady in particular, one of the pianists, kept telling me I needed to join the music team and sing sometime. I still wasn't ready.
Then a few weeks ago, the lady who is in charge of who sings and plays for the service came up and asked me if I'd join in. She said some little birdies told her I had a good voice. So she asked me if I'd think about it, pray about it, and let her know.

I panicked. But God was very clear. He wanted me doing this. The following Sunday I agreed to be a part of the music team. Then the very first Sunday I was to sing, we had to go out of town at the last minute.
So this morning was my first time. Whoever sings on Sunday morning meets to practice at 8:30. I am not a morning person but was determined to make it. I was a tiny bit late, but I made it. It took all the strength I had in me to make the first step toward the door. Well, scratch that, it took the strength of Jesus to get me in the door. If it had been up to me, I wouldn't have done it.
But it turned out that they weren't practicing until 9:30 this morning. So I had a great way out. I could have just missed completely and I probably wouldn't have been missed because it was an unscheduled change.

But with God's help and strength, I showed up at 9:30 to practice. And even more remarkable, I walked up front during the service when it was time. I put one foot in front of the other and made my way up front.
And again, even more remarkable, when it was time to actually open my mouth and sing, I actually opened my mouth and sang. Me! I still noticed the people, but it ceased being about them and became about Him. I was worshipping Him and the song just came. I stood there very stiff, but my voice was clear and I sang for God, I sang for Jesus. And I am going to go back and do it again next Sunday.

God is so good!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Bible in 90 Days

It's that time again! And I'm so excited!

Excited enough that I will be back later tonight and actually blog about it. Promise. ;-)

What, don't believe me??? Cause my stellar posting record for the past few months doesn't speak for itself?!?

Yeah, I don't completely believe myself either. However, my desire is strong for blogging right now. But this exact minute the children are calling and I have to feed them. But I wanted to get something down so I would feel like I have to blog more later.

I hope it works.

Saturday, May 21, 2011


Sitting here crying my eyes out over this post. It brought back so many memories.
Dino was born at 36 weeks gestation. A tiny bit early but not too bad. However, he did have some blood sugar issues which required an IV. And for that he needed to be in the NICU.
Imagine, if you will, a first time mom, one who had planned a natural childbirth and a healthy baby. Now imagine that she got neither. (well, Dino wasn't unhealthy, he just wasn't in tip-top shape)

I went into labor 4 weeks early. My water broke Sunday evening. Monday I would be 36 weeks pregnant, 4 weeks from my due date, and it was also to be our final birthing class. I intended to have all natural childbirth, just like my mom had done it, just like many of my aunts and cousins had done it. I was all set, or so I thought. We got to the hospital just before midnight. The doctor's did not think my water had actually broken because I was so early and not in full blown labor. However, it was a slow night so they admitted me. About an hour after I arrived a doctor came in the room and told me there were several tests they used to check if the amniotic sac had ruptured. He (Dr. Payne funnily enough) told me that he be doing a few of the tests. First, he was going to insert a speculum to take a sample. But when he got close enough to that area, he saw some liquid seeping. So he asked for the strips they use (don't know what they are called, but they turn a certain color if they come in contact with amniotic fluid) to test for fluid and it turned positive immediately. He said he still wanted to do some more tests. He again started the test that required the speculum (again, I have no idea of the different tests and the names, I'm just drawing on my memory of the time) but he never finished. Once he got close enough and I spread my legs (hate that) he said, "Never mind. Baby is coming today. I see hair."
So I was officially in labor. I was 3cms dilated at that point and having some contractions. The nurses hooked my up to the monitors and my contractions started getting stronger and coming closer together. Someone came in to insert an IV and that's when I lost it. I was already nervous because it was too early. And now I was getting uncomfortable from the contractions. Then when they tried the IV, they couldn't get it in right and it hurt. They tried in both of my hands several times. Both hands swelled up and started bruising. Eventually they ended up putting the IV in the crook of my right arm, which meant I couldn't bend my elbow. It was very uncomfortable and I panicked. I asked for an epidural. I was checked and found to be 5 cms so they gave me the epi. And then things stalled. So they gave me pitocin. (none of this was anything like the all natural delivery I had planned...) And then Dino's heart rate starting going nuts. I was only 6 cms by this point, 3 hours after the epi had gone in. And Dino kept reacting worse and worse to the contractions. So a decision was made to have a c-section. I cried, but I was so exhausted by this point, I just wanted him to be okay. It was 6am and I had been up for almost 24 hours at this point and I just wanted him to be born. So off to the OR we went. He was born at 6:59 am, weighing in at 6lbs 11oz and looked great for being 4 weeks early.
He stayed with my for almost that whole day. That night, after checking his blood sugar levels several times, he ended up needing an IV, so off to the NICU he went. I was released on Thursday, and it was the hardest day of my life. Seeing all the women leaving the hospital with their babies was like a knife through my heart. It was awful.

And it didn't matter that Dino was the biggest, healthiest baby in the NICU. It still hurt. And then I felt guilty for being upset when so many of the babies in the NICU were in such bad shape. Those few days were very hard, some of the hardest days I've ever experienced. And even though it was almost 9 years ago, and all the details are fuzzy, the emotion is still razor sharp in my mind. It hurt. It was hard.
But Dino wasn't there long. He came home on Sunday and never looked back.

So when I found I was pregnant again, I was thrilled that I'd get a do-over. I couldn't wait to have the perfect birth I'd dreamed of. Hub and I practiced and planned and made sure we were going to be ready whenever I went into labor this time. I just knew I'd be one of those women who had a VBAC.
Then came moving day. We moved in with my parents on Tuesday (10 days before my due date). Wednesday I noticed Frog wasn't moving too much. I did all the things you're supposed to do and he moved some, but I kept a close eye on him. Thursday I woke up and he didn't move. And he always moved a ton in the mornings. I called the doctor's office and talked to a nurse. I had an appt for the next day and the nurse said I'd be fine to wait. "Babies slow down this close to your due date", blah, blah, blah. But she could tell I wasn't satisfied. She told me no doctor's were in so I'd have to see a midwife. I said fine and rushed in immediately, no shower, no Hub, no nothing. My mom did come with me to watch Dino. We got to the office and they hooked me up to the monitors. I was reassured to hear Frog's heart beating away. But he still wasn't moving much. He did move some. After almost an hour of monitoring, the nurse took my strip to the doctor that was there on call. A midwife came in and told me they thought it would be best for me to head over to the hospital. No one acted like it was a big deal. So mom and Dino and I made our way over. I tried calling Hub when we got there (this was before everyone and their brother had cell phones) but couldn't reach him. I found out later he was already on his way.
So I get to the hospital, mom calls my sister-in-law to come get Dino and I am all happy-go-lucky thinking I'm getting ready to have an induction. A nurse comes in and tells me to get on the bed because I need to be monitored. I thought she was rather mean, but my mom told me later that she knew something was wrong. I'm on the monitor for a few minutes (Hub was here by now) and the nurse leaves the room. Within a few minutes she returns with a ton of people. Someone starts prepping me for surgery, someone starts an IV, someone is getting me to sign papers, someone is telling me about getting a spinal, someone is telling me something else, there were people everywhere. A short time later I was in the OR and getting a spinal. It happened so fast I had no time to process any of it.
Frog was born at 1:45 pm and weighed 7lbs 15 oz. He was with me for about an hour, while they stitched me up and for a few minutes in the recovery room. But he was not doing well and they took him to the NICU shortly. It really happened so fast I didn't have time to think.
But once I was in my room I had plenty of time to think. And I really did quite well. I was familiar with the NICU having been there with Dino. And I just didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't stress or anything. I was so tired from the delivery that I let it all float away. I saw Frog for a few minutes. They wheeled me to see him before they took me to my room. But then I just slept. It wasn't until the next morning I realized he wasn't good. But even then, I just kept thinking he was more like Dino had been and was just in need of a little time.
No one could ever figure out exactly what happened but he had some kind of infection. He was on antibiotics. His platelets were low. At one point they were sure they would have to give him a blood transfusion. But that didn't end up happening. No one was quite sure what was going on. But he very quickly got better. He still had to stay in the NICU. And I went home for the second time with no baby in my arms. Until then, I did not cry one time. But when they brought all my discharge papers, and I had to get ready to leave, then I lost it. I cried and cried and cried. It hit me then that I was leaving the hospital for a second time with no baby. It was not fair. It downright sucked.
I was mad, and hurt, and upset, and just lost. I was glad to get home to Dino, but felt like part of me was left behind at the hospital. Those few days were torture.
But Frog did well, and he came home on Wednesday, for a grand total of 7 days in the NICU. Not bad at all.
My OB did tell me at my 2 week check-up that she was glad I came in when I did. She said Frog's umbilical cord was tested and there was no oxygen found in it. She said that it was very likely that had I waited or had I gone into labor that Frog would not have made it. I'll take a 7 day NICU stay to that any day.
Doesn't mean my experience wasn't still hard, but Frog is here now and very healthy. I thank God for him every day, for all three of my boys.

And now, just to round it out and complete the picture, I guess I should write about the day Monkey was born. Two weeks earlier (I was 35weeks2days), I was put into the hospital. My pregnancy had gone okay, but my blood pressure had gone sky high and I'd gained 20 pounds in two weeks. So I went into the hospital overnight for observation. Turns out all was fine, but they kept a close eye on me for the remainder of my pregnancy. I had an appt every week and twice weekly Non-Stress Tests (NSTs). When I went in for my appt the next week, they told me it was possible that we would need an amnio to check for lung maturity and that I'd probably have Monkey the next week. It was a fine line between needing him to stay in and grow and needing him to come out. And they were trying to watch but stay proactive at the same time.
Meanwhile, I'm having all kinds of contractions that are painful but not kicking me into labor. Every NST I had someone would ask if I felt the contractions. I was always like, "Ummmm, yes!!"
So on the Friday after my last appt I started some harder contractions. They continued all weekend and into the next week. I would get 5 in an hour, then only 1 an hour for several hours. Then I'd get 6-7 in an hour for 2 hours. And just over and over again. Never regular but not completely stopping either. So when I got to my appt on Tuesday, I was so ready to hear someone tell me we'd schedule an amnio and Monkey would be coming soon. When the doctor (and I went to a teaching office, so this doc was a newbie, very young) arrived, she examined me, found me to be 3 cms dilated, and listened to me talk about all the contractions. She then told me to schedule my c-section for "two weeks from today." I bawled like a little baby. I told her there was no way I could make it two more weeks. I'm sure OBs hear that all the time and think nothing of it. But I meant it.
Unfortunately, the doc also meant what she said. So off to schedule my c-section I went, and then on to the waiting room to wait for my NST. When I got hooked up for the NST (a couple hours later), Monkey was sleeping so they kept me for awhile waiting on him to move enough to get good readings. All the while I was having contractions. One nurse finally came in and looked at my strip. She quickly got a doctor. This doctor said she didn't like my contraction pattern (and again asked if I could feel them. I guess because I wasn't screaming and writhing in pain no one believed I was feeling them) and because I'd already had 2 c-sections they wanted me at the hospital to be monitored.
I figured it was like my last hospital visit 2 weeks earlier so I didn't want to call Hub. But when I got to the hospital, they sent me straight to pre-op and starting prepping me. I still didn't believe it but my nurse finally convinced me to call Hub. I was contracting the whole time and just waiting. The doc who had examined me earlier, and who I'd bawled on, came in and examined me again. This time I was 5 cms. She declared me in officially in labor and looked rather sheepish if I do say so myself.
Hub got there in the nick of time and I was wheeled back to the OR. Monkey was born at 4:54 pm weighing 9lbs 10 oz, and he was 3 weeks early!
And most amazing of all, he spent every single minute of the hospital stay with me. He only left my room once to go get a hearing test. And the day I left the hospital, Monkey left in my arms. Finally!! At last I got to take a baby home with me. What a wonderful moment that was!

And now I have a 4 year old, a 6 year old, and an 8 year old. Three wonderful, healthy boys. They are my joy! I am a blessed woman!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Psssst, hi, it's me.

Hey, what's this? A blog? What's a blog? I have a blog? When did that happen?

Hee-hee, yes I do remember that I have a blog. I just haven't been in a blogging mood for awhile. But I've been getting the feeling back, that feeling I get now and again to write. I'm not a terrific writer, but I do love to put down my thoughts.
So I'm back.

Here's what's been going on here:
The same thing that always goes on here. Life. It moves at lightning pace. Always.

Dino is an amazing child. He is growing so fast I'm afraid to sleep for fear he'll be married with kids when I wake up. He'll be 9 in a few months and is just finishing up third grade.
**A quick aside: I know plenty of homeschooling parents who do not pay attention to what grade their child is in. I am not one of those homeschooling parents. While I don't follow the curriculum set by the state, I do tend to follow the general idea and teach the boys according to what grade they would be in if they were in public school. And even then, I have noticed that we are still different sometimes. Dino and Frog both have birthdays that are within days of the cut-off date for starting school. So I started kindergarten with both of them just days after their fifth birthdays. Some in our community have kept their children of the same ages back a year. So no matter what, we are different. It's all good. But back to me, I just work better with the thought in my head that each of them would be in such and such grade, so we should be teaching this. Works well for me that way.**
Dino is just finishing up another season of baseball. He really enjoys it. He isn't the best player out there but he enjoys the game. His coach tells me that he really gets the rules. He pays attention and tries to do what the coach tells him to do. He just isn't extremely blessed in the athletic area. (takes after both of his parents) He is also already looking forward to football season. And he's going to try playing basketball this winter.
Yikes. For a non-athletic child, he really plays a lot of sports. I want him (all of the boys) to stay active as much as possible. Being an obese woman, I am determined to not pass my eating habits and sedentary lifestyle. So I try to keep the boys moving as much as possible. Sometimes they think I'm the meanest mom in the world because I make them stay outside for hours.
Dino is doing really well in school. He loves history. I love that our curriculum is literature based because it has so many wonderful books to read. Dino has become absorbed in the books. He loves to read. Loves to read!! It is not hard to get him to read his school books. (not quite so easy to get him to do his math....) I love to watch how engrossed he gets in a book. He will read and read and read. He bought himself the complete set of "The Chronicles of Narnia" and read the first book, "The Magician's Nephew" the first day he had it. I love that he loves to read. Does my heart good!

Frog is growing fast, too. He will be seven in a couple of months and is finishing first grade. He is reading now, too. I wondered how it would go with him. When I taught Dino how to read (in first grade) I had switched to a new curriculum. After using it, I decided I didn't like it as well as what I had been using, so I switched back. Then when Frog was ready for first, I got all the Sonlight material to use. Even though I knew it was wonderful material, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to teach Frog how to read as easily as I taught Dino. I was worried that Dino was just a natural reader and I didn't do much, and that the curriculum did more. So switching curriculum on such a fundamental skill worried me. I know, I know, silly. But reading didn't seem to click as quickly for Frog as it did for Dino and I spent much of the year worrying. And as it turned out, all for naught. Frog is a reading champ now. He's been reading everything he can get his hands on. He's finished all the readers for first grade and is now reading some of the second grade readers. I've got to find something for him to read this summer so I can save something for him to read in school next year. Again, I love it!
And Frog is really good in math. He has almost caught up to Dino. It's not making Dino happy, but I don't want to hold Frog back. So we'll take it a step at a time.
Frog just finished up his soccer season. He's getting better all the time at that. He is more athletically inclined than Dino, but still not the superstar of the team. Hub and I just don't seem to make 'em too sports-minded. Oh well. Just so long as they stay active......

Monkey is, well, he's my baby. I want him to stay a baby. Okay, not really, but maybe a tiny bit. He's now four years old and trying to do everything his brothers do, everything. Sorta. He wants to do it his way, For instance, when we signed the older two up for baseball and soccer, we asked Monkey if he wanted to play a sport. He was not even remotely interested. He told me, "If you can sign me up for a train building class, I would do that." And that is him all the time. Always wants to be in charge, always. At one point I was worried that he was color blind because anytime we talked about colors he always said green or red. Never any other color. Then one day he just told us all the other colors correctly. He just didn't want to do it before.
He's like that with everything. If he doesn't want to do it, no amount of persuading will get him to do it. I tried to get him to write his names for a long time. He flat out refused. Then one day, out of the blue he wrote his name. After that I tried to get him to write some other letters. No way, no how was he going to do it. Again, he flat out refused. He would write numbers all day long, but no letters. Now he's writing some letters. Not the ones I ask him to write, but what he chooses to write.
I thought about starting him in Kindergarten this fall, watching him this past year has made me rethink that thought. He and I are not ready to tackle that job. I will not stress myself out that way. We will take it a day at a time and see how pre-K goes. We'll start Kinder when we are both ready.

So, that's what's been going on here. Well, sorta. That's what's on my mind tonight. I just put in my order for next year's curriculum so homeschool is what's on my mind right now. Next week I'll have something else on my mind and will be ready to post again.

Oh, one quick thing about me. I am a knitter now. Ha! Imagine that! I never thought I was crafty. But it turns out I am when it comes to knitting. We had a homeschool co-op last fall and the moms could take one class. I took knitting and haven't looked back since. It just clicked for me and I can pretty much do whatever I want. I haven't tried a sweater yet, but I have done so many other things. A whole new world has opened up for me. I love it. So maybe my next post will be all about knitting. Who knows. I just have a feeling though that I am feeling the need to blog more now and so at least there will be a next post. Yay!!

Monday, January 17, 2011

I love my kids!

My kids are the greatest! They keep me laughing all the time. The keep me annoyed often as well, but since I love them so, I can handle that.

So far today, they have put a smile on my face several times. Monkey came out of the bedroom, where the older two were making their bed. Nanny told him to go make his bed. His reply, "But I'm not old enough to make beds." *snicker*
Last night, Dino messed the shower up and couldn't finish his shower. We have a timer on it and if done incorrectly you have to wait five minutes to shower. So he was sitting in just his robe. He said, "Aaahhhh, there's nothing like wearing a nice warm robe with nothing underneath." Seriously tickled me, even tickles me now remembering it.
This morning Frog came out after getting dressed wearing his nice clothes, the ones we keep for church or dress up occasions. He said, "I thought I'd make you and Nanny happy this morning so I dressed up." Love him!
Then just a bit ago, Dino was sitting reading his Bible. He is reading in Exodus right now. He read this out loud to me, "The LORD said to Moses, “Consecrate to me every firstborn male. The first offspring of every womb among the Israelites belongs to me, whether human or animal.” Exodus 13:1-2
He wanted to know what it meant so we talked about it. Then he said, "Do we still have to do that now?" I said no and he came back with, "Good, cause I don't want to be a preacher."

The fact that he wants to read the Bible and wants to know what it actually means makes me so proud. And by him doing it, he's also teaching his little brothers. It's a cycle. And I love it. And I love them.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Got knocked down a peg

I'm just going to blurt it out: I'm not doing the Bible in 90 Days anymore. Well, not reading that is. I am still a mentor, but you don't have to be reading along if you are a mentor.
But I'm kinda annoyed with myself but I'm trying to let go and figure out what God is trying to teach me.

Here's what happened.
After doing the last B90, I was totally pumped. I had been a mentor and I had read along again. So I had gone from never reading the Bible cover to cover to doing it twice in one year. Boy, I was quite proud of myself.
That fact alone isn't awful. It's not always a bad thing to be proud of an accomplishment. But I let my pride get away from me. I knew that Amy was going to do another B90 starting in January. I let her know that I was willing to help out again. And then I got cocky. Oh yeah, I'm good at this. I can do this no problem at all. See, look at me, I'm super woman, awesome mom, can read super fast, be an encouragement to others, I can do it all.
I even convinced my family to read with me this time.

Then January 3 happened. Nothing spectacular, but I couldn't manage to keep up with the reading from day 1 of the challenge. But I thought, hey, I know Genesis, I'll just skim. Yeah, not working out so good. But hey, here's Exodus, I'll just start reading that on the right day and then go back and catch up on Genesis.
But it just wasn't feeling right. At first, I thought it was just Satan trying to poke at me. I also felt like since I'd convinced my family to read with me that I ought to be reading, too. But then I started to think I needed something else, that maybe God was telling me to do something different. After the last B90, I didn't stay in the Word like I should have. I didn't read every day. It was very hit or miss.
And I could feel it. And I think that was at the crux of why I was not able to read with the challenge.
Then a friend mentioned that she wanted to try something a little slower, something that gave her time to chew on what she was reading.
And that's when I really started to feel that tug on my heart. That's it, that's what I want- more time to think about what I'm reading.

I love the Bible in 90 Days program. It's especially great if you have never read the Bible through. I think it's great that it's in such a quick time because it gives such a great picture of the whole thing, of what the Bible is trying to tell us. It is a value program. And I really think that I will try to do it at least once every year or two. It's good to get the whole Bible in your mind and heart.
But for me, at this point, I need to go deeper. I need something else.
So I'm looking for some options. Any suggestions would be great.

But that's where I am, that's what's going on here.
Still praying for my ladies, still praying for the whole program, just not reading myself this go round. And kinda licking my wounds.
God can use this, in fact, this is often when God really makes some big changes. Or points out the things that I need to change.
My pastor made an analogy at church Sunday. He talked about being filled with the Spirit. Too often different denominations get caught up in what that means. One of the things I love about my pastor is that he says not to sweat the small stuff. He says if you are following a doctrine that comes from a man, it's probably not the right one. Read the Bible, figure out what God really says about it.
Ooops, going off track a bit. Anyway, Pastor Paul used the analogy of a hotel room. A Christian is already filled with the Spirit once they become saved. But they have to empty themselves out to let the Spirit have free reign. The Spirit is in the hotel, walking around knocking on doors. I can choose if I want to let the Spirit in each room. When God is dealing with me on the issue in room 24, I have to let the Spirit have the room or I can choose to hold on to it. If I let the Spirit in, I have to empty that room of myself.

So right now, the Spirit is knocking on my door, asking to come in. There are some things I need to change. And I need to quiet myself and let Him work on me.

Okay, that is all over the place. That's what happens when I write. I just tend to write what's on my mind. And tonight, I feel like it's important to just let it be what it is, no editing. This is where I am right now, and if it makes no sense, well that's the way it is. This is me. I'm flawed.

Monday, January 10, 2011


Wanted to add my thoughts on something while I have a moment.

This ties in with my thoughts about the rainbow. Again, I take the Bible literally. As a friend said recently, "Call me crazy" but I do take it literally. I believe that God made the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th. I know many do not agree with me, but that's alright. Call me crazy if you must.

But what struck me while reading in Exodus was when God gave the 10 commandments. One of them, Exodus 20:8-11 Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

I never read it quite the way I did a couple of days ago. A light went off. Some people say that the days God referred to when He created the earth are like thousands of years for us. So it would be possible that there were thousands of years between each part He added to the world, thus allowing for evolution. I don't believe it. What jumped out of me in Exodus was that He said "Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath" and "For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day."
I am not a Bible scholar and I do not know what the Hebrew words were that were used in this passage. But it seems to me that the six days (of a week) that we are to work are the same time period as the six days God worked to create the earth.
To me, it seems crystal clear that He created the earth in six literal days.
I am not a scientist, though there are many scientists (real, true, honest to goodness scientists) who believe the way I do. I love when I read about creationism. My favorite website on creationism is AIG. So much information there.

Anyway, it's late and I should be in bed. Just had to get these thoughts out before I forgot.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Day two

I'm a little behind already, not on reading but on posting.
Oh well. I decided this time to not let the blogging interfere with the reading. While I like to write down my thoughts, last time I got so caught up in that part that I let my reading slide. Not gonna happen this time.

I had a thought about Noah that I did want to write down. In Genesis 9:11 God says, "Thus I establish My covenant with you: Never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of the flood; never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth."
I personally believe that the Bible should be taken literally. So in line with that, I believe that the flood of Noah's day was a worldwide flood, that the entire earth was covered with water. I know that other Christians and atheists believe that the flood was more likely just a local flood.
But when I read that passage a thought occurred to me. We can see rainbows everywhere. If the rainbow was a sign to a local area that that area would not be flooded again, then why can I see a rainbow thousands of miles away? Wouldn't the rainbow be localized if the flood was?
I don't really know, just thinking aloud. Obviously, to me the rainbow is a sign to the whole earth that the whole earth won't every be destroyed by water again.

Monday, January 3, 2011

B90Days, Day 1

Bible in 90 Days! Again! I'm so excited. I know I could read the Bible on my own, somehow finding out a way to make myself read every day, but this program keeps me more accountable. Maybe it's all in my head, but whatever it is, I'll take it!

So today is Day 1 and I'm just getting started. But the most exciting part for me is that several family members are reading along with me. Hub said he would try. He doesn't seem too eager so I'll be praying like mad for him, but he wants to try. (yay!!!) My mom is going to read again, too. She was with me the first time I did B90Days with our Bible study group. We had the opportunity to meet once a week and watch some DVDs that Bible in 90 Days has available. (If you go to their website, click on "hear the lessons" and you can listen to the DVDs that we watched.) It was a great experience and I'm glad mom wants to read again.
Best of all, Dino wants to read along. Through no prodding by me, he asked me the last time I read if he could read. So when I was getting ready this time, I found the reading schedule for kids. I printed up all the different age levels. The one for age 6-10 wasn't enough for him. He took one look at it and said, "Is that all? It's not the whole Bible." I gave him the 9-12 schedule and he's okay with it. He really wants to read the entire Bible. While I love that he wants to, I don't want him to get stuck with all the begats, and Leviticus, and all the prophets. I'm encouraging him to just make it a goal to read everything on his schedule and read some every day. Then, if he still wants to read what he didn't, he can go back. We'll see how it goes.
Frog is also reading along (being read to), so we're making it a whole family thing, as Monkey is getting some listening to others. This is so nice!

So, here begins another wonderful B90Days. I am looking forward to every single day.

Oh, Amy at MomsToolbox is hosting this challenge. She has tons of info on her site. Go visit and check it out if you haven't already.