Saturday, October 31, 2009

Coming soon...

I have decided to have a go at posting once a day for a bit. I would like to post more often but without a goal, I never make it.

Soooooo..... I am going to do my own little NaBloPoMo. I am calling mine 30 Days of Thankfulness.
Yes, I know, it is extremely clever and creative. I'm smart like that.

What? Oh, next month is November, the month with Thanksgiving in it? Oh, wow, what a coincidence. I never even thought about that when I decided to have 30 Days of Thankfulness for NaBloPoMo.

Anyway, I am going to give it a try. I am very blessed and have much to be thankful for, and I want to shout it from the roofblogtops!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Sky is Falling!

Today we had some people re-roofing the house. There are three skylights that had to be replaced, too. And let me say, I do not like listening to someone walking on my house. Or scraping off shingles. Or nailing down tar paper. Or playing loud music in Spanish, so I can't understand it. Or. Or. Or. Just one of the myriad of things that kept me on edge today.
I am also very sad. There seems to be so much negativity around these days. And I am annoyed.
I'm annoyed at myself most of all. Some of what I have been struggling with lately is my own place in this world. I want to stay in my comfortable little bubble and not ever do anything that makes me the tiniest bit uncomfortable.
But that is just not right. There are things in life that are and should be uncomfortable. And given the way this world seems to be moving, just by being a Christian, I am going to cause people to be uncomfortable. And today, I watched some ladies I admire very much take some huge hits for the Kingdom. They put themselves out there and proclaimed Jesus to be the Way, the Truth, and the Life. And the were persecuted verbally for this Truth. And I sat by and basically did nothing.
Oh, I tried to make myself feel better by saying a little bit, but I didn't do all that I could have.
I have this fear of looking foolish. You've heard that expression, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt", well, I seem to have internalized it. The thought that I will look foolish paralyzes me.
And then I read this scripture:
1 Peter 3:13-17 And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
Kinda puts me in my place, huh? Especially the bolded part. I know what I should be doing for the Lord. And by doing nothing, by sitting silent and letting others proclaim the Gospel for me, I am not doing good for God. I am doing nothing.
But all is not lost. I can turn it around and do what God is asking of me. I can learn from my mistakes. I can gain wisdom.
Proverbs 1:20-33:
20 Wisdom calls aloud outside;
She raises her voice in the open squares.
21 She cries out in the chief concourses,
At the openings of the gates in the city
She speaks her words:
22 “ How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?
For scorners delight in their scorning,
And fools hate knowledge.
23 Turn at my rebuke;
Surely I will pour out my spirit on you;
I will make my words known to you.
24 Because I have called and you refused,
I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded,
25 Because you disdained all my counsel,
And would have none of my rebuke,
26 I also will laugh at your calamity;
I will mock when your terror comes,
27 When your terror comes like a storm,
And your destruction comes like a whirlwind,
When distress and anguish come upon you.
28 “ Then they will call on me, but I will not answer;
They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me.
29 Because they hated knowledge
And did not choose the fear of the LORD,
30 They would have none of my counsel
And despised my every rebuke.
31 Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way,
And be filled to the full with their own fancies.
32 For the turning away of the simple will slay them,
And the complacency of fools will destroy them;
33 But whoever listens to me will dwell safely,
And will be secure, without fear of evil.”

I've had it all wrong! As long as I am proclaiming His Truth, I won't be foolish! Fearing the Lord, obeying His commands, that is true wisdom. Turning away from Him is when you look foolish! Light-bulb moment for me!!  Psalm 53:1 The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.” 
So, I resolve to not be afraid of looking foolish. I have the Truth. John 8:31-32 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” 

Monday, October 19, 2009

The Lies He Tells

Some of the lies he's told me:
  • I am fat, and ugly, and worthless.
  • I am a lousy wife.
  • I am an even worse mother.
  • I am lazy.
  • There is nothing good about me.
  • I am a terrible housekeeper.
  • I will amount to nothing in this life.
  • No one cares about me.
  • Everyone hates me.
  • I am a bad friend.
  • No one wants to be around me.
  • Everyone would be better off without me in their lives.
  • I am unlovable.
Reasons I believe him:
  • I am actually fat, so I must be ugly and worthless, too.
  • I have been such a bad wife at times. I have made many mistakes.
  • I am not a perfect mother. Again, I have made so many mistakes.
  • There are so many things I have done that I am ashamed of, way too many to mention here.
  • Sometimes I am lazy and don't want to clean the house.
  • There have been people in my life who don't like me, who don't want to be around me, who say mean and hurtful things to me. So I must be a bad friend, unlovable, worthless.
  • When I do things wrong, it just re-enforces these things and then I feel unlovable and worthless.
  • If I am feeling this way, it must be true.
  • If it is true, then everyone is really better off without me.
Reasons I know that he is truly a liar:
  • For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16
  • But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
  • For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21
  • And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight. Colossians 1:21-22
  • If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
  • For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11
  • I have loved you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
  • To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:3
  • Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5
  • I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
  • When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it. John 8:44
  • The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

In remembrance...

Tomorrow, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I will be lighting a candle at 7:30 pm in remembrance of way too many babies.
Essie- my little bub who I lost on January 26, 2006. I didn't know I was pregnant for all that long, but I still wanted that sweet babe and it still hurt when I lost her.
Sam- Sweet, sweet little Sam. I am so sorry I never got to know you baby.
Benjamin- Sam's little brother. And their mama and daddy shouldn't have had to lose both of them in so short a time. I still pray for peace.
Sweet baby O- another friend lost a baby back in 2008. And still hasn't had another. I pray every day that she will get to snuggle another baby and that sweet G will finally be a big sister.
And way too many babies who were senselessly taken from this world because we have a stupid law that says they don't count, they aren't human, they don't matter.

There are so, so, so many more babies that are not here with us. And so, so, so many moms and dads who can still feel their presence. I have many more friends who have lost babies, some have had more since then, some have not. But one thing I am sure of, I will get to meet these sweet babes one day. I will get to see them when I get to heaven. And my prayer is that if their moms and dads and brothers and sisters are not Christians, that they will be soon. I would hate to know that any mom and baby had to be separated for eternity.
I will never forget, I will always remember, I will always pray.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I love it when that happens!

Nothing special to anyone but me, but I had to share!
I've been struggling with an issue and praying and reading my Bible and talking with other believers about it. But I could not reconcile my feelings with what God was trying to say to me. I talked myself in circles, I reasoned it out in my head, I tried to understand from a human perspective. I truly tried to glean what I could from the scriptures, but I couldn't quite grasp it. I prayed that God would give me the insight He wanted me to have, but my human side was getting frustrated because it wasn't happening on my time table.
Then this morning, I was reading in my Bible, studying something completely different, and a refrence was cited in my study Bible. I looked it up and it was exactly what I needed for the issue I was struggling with. I love it when it happens like that! God is so good!
Wow! A great way to start my day!
(I'm happy! Can you tell?)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Something is sticking!

Today, Dino and Frog have been not getting along so well. They are best friends most of the time, but they are brothers and they have moments of not getting along. I try to teach them that God wants them to take care of their brothers. (For the life of me I cannot remember which scriptures I have used. I need to find them but I want to get this post done now. I will try to add them later.)

So today both boys have not been so nice to each other. One time Frog was reading a book and Dino started reading over his shoulder. Frog just turned the page when he was done and went on. Dino got mad and wanted him to turn the page back. They Dino looked to me to intervene. I told him that I wasn't going to make Frog let him read with him. I told Dino to go get his own book and read. He was very mad at me. I did tell Frog that he could be nice and let Dino read some with him, too, but he wasn't really in the mood.
Later in the afternoon, Dino was reading and Frog was looking over his shoulder. Hmmmmmm, can you guess what happened?

Teaching moment!!!!!!

I talked with them and asked each how it felt to be the one who wanted to look and the other wouldn't let them. And I asked them how they thought the other felt when they were the one reading and not sharing. I could tell I was making a point. (Trust me, it went a lot better then than it seems from the way I am telling it now.) I really almost cried when Frog said, in answer to my question of how should they have acted, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
It's sticking!! Something I am teaching them is getting through! I am making a difference in their lives.

Oftentimes, I feel like I haven't made a difference. I don't think I have ever led anyone to the Lord. I know there have been some people who have said I was an encouragement, but I feel like I haven't done enough. But to hear my sweet, sweet boys respond to a life lesson with scripture, ah, it does my heart good. I am making a difference! I am leading someone to the Lord! Praise God!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Be Bold

I need a little boldness in my life!
I just ordered a book that I hope will bring it on!
And there are so many areas of my life I could use boldness in, so I am going to take the bull by the horns and come out in boldness!!

We were blessed with a performance by the group 3D in church this morning. They are a local group who perform interpretive dance. Here's a YouTube Video of one of their performances. It was wonderful! I am so filled up today. Going to church can rehydrate me when I am dry. I needed this so much!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Jude 1

Jude 1
 Jude, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, and brother of James,
To those who are called, sanctified by God the Father, and preserved in Jesus Christ:
Mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you. Contend for the Faith Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain men have crept in unnoticed, who long ago were marked out for this condemnation, ungodly men, who turn the grace of our God into lewdness and deny the only Lord God and our Lord Jesus Christ.

But I want to remind you, though you once knew this, that the Lord, having saved the people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe. And the angels who did not keep their proper domain, but left their own abode, He has reserved in everlasting chains under darkness for the judgment of the great day; as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner to these, having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

 Likewise also these dreamers defile the flesh, reject authority, and speak evil of dignitaries. Yet Michael the archangel, in contending with the devil, when he disputed about the body of Moses, dared not bring against him a reviling accusation, but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” But these speak evil of whatever they do not know; and whatever they know naturally, like brute beasts, in these things they corrupt themselves. Woe to them! For they have gone in the way of Cain, have run greedily in the error of Balaam for profit, and perished in the rebellion of Korah.

 These are spots in your love feasts, while they feast with you without fear, serving only themselves. They are clouds without water, carried about by the winds; late autumn trees without fruit, twice dead, pulled up by the roots; raging waves of the sea, foaming up their own shame; wandering stars for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever.

Now Enoch, the seventh from Adam, prophesied about these men also, saying, “Behold, the Lord comes with ten thousands of His saints, to execute judgment on all, to convict all who are ungodly among them of all their ungodly deeds which they have committed in an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him.”

These are grumblers, complainers, walking according to their own lusts; and they mouth great swelling words, flattering people to gain advantage. But you, beloved, remember the words which were spoken before by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ: how they told you that there would be mockers in the last time who would walk according to their own ungodly lusts. These are sensual persons, who cause divisions, not having the Spirit.

But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.

And on some have compassion, making a distinction; but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.

 Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.

And I also want to add one more:

Isaiah 55:11  So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

God's Word never returns to Him void. He is the Truth. His Word is the Truth. People can manipulate it in any way they chose, but it will still remain the Truth.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Worries about my boys

Tomorrow, Dino has to go to the dentist.
His first ever appointment was last week. I am not a good taking my child to the dentist mom. And I don't dislike the dentist. I went a ton when I was younger and had all kinds of things done. So there is no fear of the dentist here. But I just don't think to do it. And I'd plan to call and never manage it.
Until last week. Dino had been complaining about his tooth hurting. I looked in his mouth and saw a new molar growing and assumed it was just that. Then, last week, I looked closer because he was still in pain. His new molar is growing in crooked and one corner of it is growing underneath one of the "baby" molars beside it. This created a pocket where he couldn't brush as well and he had an infection.
Ugh. I felt so bad. So now he has to have one tooth pulled and a spacer put in to help the molar grow straighter and keep space for another molar to come later.
Tomorrow is the day. I pray that it goes well.

And Frog is on my heart so much right now. He has recently developed a fearful personality. In the past, he was not especially fearful. He liked to stay nearby whoever he went somewhere with, or have mama in sight, but he wasn't what I would call fearful.
But in the last six months he has become so. He won't sleep in his room at night. He sleeps with my mom and step-dad. He gets hysterical if we try to have him sleep in his room. Even though he sleeps in the same bed with Dino and Monkey is in the room, too. He also won't stay in a room by himself. We have a somewhat open floor plan in the house. And we mainly stay in one end of the house during the day. But if both my mom and I are in the back of the house, Frog will not stay in the front. He has to be where we are.
Today, I took him with me to the store. On the way home I stopped to get gas. I stood right beside his window to pump and when I opened the door to get my purse, he was crying hysterically. He told me he didn't like being alone in the car. I felt so bad for him. All the way home we talked about it. I told him he could talk to God and God would be there and help him. He said, "But I can't see Him. I can't feel Him. How do I know He's here?"
I really don't know how to answer him sufficiently. I did tell him to pray and ask God to be there and be still and feel with his heart. I told him that sometimes I am afraid and I pray and have faith that God is there.
I asked Frog if he knew what faith is. He said, "It's when a big truck goes over a bridge and I know that the bridge is going to hold it and not fall."
Wow!. I love him so much and want so badly to help him through this but I feel like I am failing. I am praying so hard for him to not have this spirit of fear. I want to break this from him. And I'm not entirely sure how I can.
I will keep praying. And talking to him. And praying some more.
Ugh, this parenting thing is hard.

Then there's Monkey. Sheesh. That boy tires me out. Plum tires me out.
And yep, that is all for tonight. He just went to sleep after what had to be the 28th time I tucked him back in. And it's way passed (past? my brain isn't working so well in the grammar area tonight) his bedtime and should be way past mine. (one of each)

Good night, and God bless.