Remembering Sam

A dear friend has gone through something that I wish no mother ever had to, not once, but twice. And the day that she lost her first beautiful little one, Sam, is fast approaching.

I find myself wishing I could do something, find some way to make it easier for her. But I don't know what. I will still, always, pray. There's not much more I can do.

Back when her second little one was lost, (before I knew his name was Benjamin), I was praying one day while Dino was doing schoolwork. I took a pen and wrote on our dry erase board. In my way, I felt the need to see the names of those little ones, to remind myself that they will always be remembered.

And in this second one, I noticed that even though I had erased their names, I could still see them. And I was like, wow! That's what it's like! Though they were both here for only a short time, they are still here, remembered in our hearts.

And when I think of my friend, my heart flips and flops. I cannot begin to fathom the pain that she must feel, knowing that she will never get to hold Sam or Benjamin this side of heaven. And again, all I can do is pray.

I did read something in the bible that really spoke to me. From The Message Bible,

Psalm 42:9-11 Sometimes I ask God, my rock-solid God, "Why did you let me down? Why am I walking around in tears, harassed by enemies?" They're out for the kill, these tormentors with their obscenities, taunting day after day, "Where is this God of yours?" Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God— soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God.

And I think, that's it. Even in my darkest hour, the hardest stretch of road I face, as a believer, I know that soon I'll be praising again. And I know that you will, too, Mrs.B.