Wednesday, August 27, 2008


I struggle sometimes with my faith. Not really my faith, but some of the details.

For instance, I know that I am saved. I know that someday I will be in heaven and get to see my wonderful savior face to face, or maybe I'll be on my face on the ground, but I know I'll be there someday.

Where I struggle is in the little things. There are so many people out there who believe in God and Jesus but people seem to believe differently. Right now, I am part of a "fringe" group in my church because I am meeting with some other women for a bible study that is not the mainstream Baptist way of doing things. For instance, I believe that it is the will of God that every person on earth be healthy and healed of all disease. Obviously, we aren't but I feel that it is God's will that we should be. Others will often pray something along the lines of "Lord, if it is your will, please heal my sister of cancer." Blah! It's always God's will that we be healed. There are so, so many verses that show that but one of my favorite is Psalm 103:1-5 (emphasis mine):

A Psalm of David. Bless Jehovah, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless Jehovah, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits; who forgives all your iniquities; who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from ruin; who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies; who satisfies your mouth with good; your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

I mean, He heals all our diseases! How awesome is that? But when you talk to someone who isn't sure, well, the problems come up. I know people who truly believe that the bible is the word of God but don't think that He heals. They believe He can heal but that He doesn't often. Which might be true, sorta. Obviously, not everyone who prays is healed. And oftentimes there is another plan at work in someone's sickness. But it is God's will to heal. We let Satan and ourselves get in the way of that healing.

Sunday, August 24, 2008


The boys got these bracelets at church last Sunday. They were asked only to take them if they would agree to pray for China every day. Dino thought about it for a bit and even passed at first, but then he came back and asked to get one. Of course, then Frog had to have one, too.

But, we have them now and it has opened up some discussion. It's hard to explain to children this young about persecution and fear. They don't get why people who live in China cn't worship God freely. It makes no sense to them, which I love. I want them to worship freely and be puzzled by why people wouldn't or couldn't. This makes them question and want to do something about it.

For now, we are praying every day for the people in China, and missionarys everywhere.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Blessed Be Your Name

I have a friend who is trying to decide when or if she wants to have another child. She has two beautiful daughters and then just a few months ago, she lost a precious babe in her second trimester of pregnancy. No reason; the little one was just gone. Now, she has been struggling over whether she can go through something like that again. Someone told her that when the desire for another child was stronger than her fear of losing another child, then she would be ready.
I can't help her right now. I can only listen and give hugs. I have never gone through what my friend has had to face. I did have a miscarriage a few years ago. But it was very early; I had only known I was pregnant for two weeks. Not that it didn't hurt and not that I didn't have a rough go of it for a bit. But it doesn't compare to losing a child that you have started to feel move, or losing a child that you've held in your arms. That is a pain that I cannot imagine. I guess that's a pain that no one can imagine until they have gone through it.
I was listening to the radio earlier today and "Blessed Be Your Name" came on and I was singing away. I was reminded of the Steven Curtis Chapman concert Hub and I went to a few weeks ago. He opened with that song. He said that it was the song that kept coming to him in the early hours after his daughter's accident. I was in tears just thinking about what that must be like. Then he came to the part of the song "you give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." He broke down singing "take away." Everyone in the audience was still and teary, and then he invited everyone to sing. It was truly amazing listening to all these people singing along with SCC and sharing his pain. The entire concert was moving and awe-inspiring. The fact that a person can go through such an horrific loss and still cling to God is what defines a faithful person. I want to be a person like that. So far, I have been. But I haven't had to lose what others have had to lose.
I read a lot of other blogs. I have recently come across a few that deal with losing a child. And I sit and read and cry along as I'm reading. And I've noticed that the blogs that are written by Christians have a decidedly different feel. When a person has hope and faith in God, even when the darkness surrounds them, the light can still be found.
I pray that I can remember that and cling to God if I am ever surrounded by darkness.
After all, He has given me so much and I have three wonderful blessings He entrusted to me. And I have to teach them the right way; the way to God.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

False Start

So, I think I had a false start on this blog. I had intended to have a place where I could write down my thoughts and just let whatever I was thinking and feeling come out on the page. But then I got stage fright. I read some really awesome blogs. They are written by some really wonderful women, and they are written much better than my blog will ever be written.
And, now I realize, that's okay. I don't have to be the best, most brilliant writer in the world. I only need to be myself.
So, with that in mind, I intend to start new, start fresh and be me. Though, for now, I still want to be me anonymously. ;)

Monday, August 4, 2008


Man, here I go and start a blog and never update it! So here goes a big, fat update!

I have some great friends! When I went to visit my friends a couple of weeks ago, I found myself surrounded by women who were incredible! These were women I had never met in person before but I felt a strong, intimate connection to them immediately! We have been chatting online for almost two years now and we share the most personal details of our lives. So, while I had never touched them in the flesh, I have touched, and been touched by them through the heart. We have shared many pictures of ourselves and our families, so when I got off the airplane, and found two wonderful women (and three adorable little girls) waiting for me at baggage claim, I knew them immediately. And they were even more wonderful than I had expected!
The thing that totally blew me away was that I was not self-conscious at all! I was with 7 other women, all of whom were shorter and much thinner than I, and I did not worry about what I looked like the entire time! I even wore a bathing suit; something I have not done in almost six years!!
We were all able to just sit and talk and be totally free with each other. The hardest part was having to say goodbye. I feel like I have truly made friends for life.
And to think, I met them all on the Internet. That sounds so bizarre!

And then, this past Friday, Hub and I had a date night. We don't get those very often, and usually even when we plan one, something comes up. This time, we bought tickets to go see Steven Curtis Chapman, and once we had the tickets, well, we couldn't not go.
Let me just say, I haven't been to a concert in years. And the last one I went to was, oh my goodness, Richard Marx at Carrowinds in the early 90's. Yikes! And I've never been to a Christian concert.
Well, let me say, I will be going to more in the future!
So, back to SCC... we arrived at the concert, which was at the Biltmore House just before sunset.

And now, I must end this blog. I hate to stop now, but I must. I do have more to say about the concert, so I will continue tomorrow.