Saturday, August 28, 2010

Day 55 of 90: Ha!

So, let's back up a bit, shall we? Thursday, Day 53, I went to bed so happy because I was finally caught up with my reading. And then God said, "Ha!"
Then He stuck out His tongue and said, "thbpthbpthbpthbpth..."

Well, at least it felt like it.  ;)
Ahhh, the best of intentions. I got to the soccer field at 5:00 yesterday afternoon. I had read about a chapter of the day's reading but that was all. However, I was so looking forward to that glorious hour of sitting alone with my Bible while Frog was practicing. No question would I be able to finish my reading. I was ready. And it was a beautiful afternoon. The weather was just perfect. No so hot that I was sweating, and just a slight breeze that was refreshing. Yes.

I read a couple more chapters before the phone rang. It was my mother. I knew immediately that something was up. My first thought was dad. I thought she was calling to say something happened and she had to take him to the hospital, so I needed to get home fast. But it wasn't dad. It was Monkey. He had managed to stick something up his nose. He's done that once before and we were able to get it out. This time, mom said she couldn't get it and she thought it was metal so she didn't want to mess around too much.
So I called the pediatrician and they said to come on in. I rushed home with a very unhappy Frog. It was only his first practice and he didn't want to leave. Hub got home around the same time as I did and we put a few things together and rushed to the doctor's office. In the 40 minute car ride we managed to imagine every worst case scenario possible while Monkey slept. A parent's mind can wander all over the place when their child isn't 100%.

Turns out, the doctor was plenty experienced at removing foreign objects from children's noses. Imagine that! However, he was quite impressed with the size of this object. It was a spacer from Dino's mouth. He had wiggled it loose, and for some unfathomable reason, when he handed it to me, I just put it beside my keyboard and forgot about it. But ewwwwww, it was pretty gross coming out of Monkey's nose. And he's fine now, but it definitely changed the evening around here.

So, I didn't finish all my reading yesterday. I'm done now, but I didn't finish all of today's. Today we celebrated Dino's 8th birthday. So I've been wrapping presents and making a cake all day.

But I'm not upset. I can feel the Lord's presence. He is in control here. And I'm trying to not panic. I am trying to find what He wants me to find out of each day. And it's okay if I don't read X amount of pages. It's all about Him. I feel close to Him. So being behind a few pages is okay.
Anyway, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday I have to sit on the football field for 2 hours and another hour again at the soccer field on Friday. That's 7 hours of quiet alone time I'll have next week for reading. I'll make it up.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Day 53 of 90

Today's reading is in Isaiah. I still have to finish the last chapter for today, but I wanted to go ahead and post an entry. I haven't done it in so long and I didn't want to wait again and then forget. ;)

A couple of verses popped out to me in this section.
Isaiah 63:14 As a beast goes down into the valley, And the Spirit of the LORD causes him to rest, So You lead Your people, To make Yourself a glorious name.
That just put a picture in my head. God, leading us where He wants us to go, and the reason is to glorify Him. Kinda puts it all into perspective. It's not about me; it's all about Him, making His name glorious. If I am acting like I have been acting the past few days, I am not bringing Him any glory. I haven't been behaving like a child of God should. And I am so sorry. Father, I ask for your forgiveness. My sole purpose in life is to bring You glory. I haven't been doing that. Please forgive me.

Another verse meant a lot to me today. Isaiah 64:4 For since the beginning of the world men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, nor has the eye seen any God besides You, who acts for the one who waits for Him.
There has never been and will never be, any God besides You Lord. You are God. No one else. No matter what they may say, no matter what sleight of hand they perform, no matter how many people follow their lead, no ear has heard, no eye has seen any God besides You. Amen.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Day 50 of 90

I am caught up!!!!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!!!

And now I'm off to bed. Hopefully, I'll be back on track with my posts tomorrow.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Day 46 of 90

Yay! I'm getting closer to being on target. I am not quite a whole day behind right now. I'm so happy!!
And I'm working on a post on Proverbs. I'm seeing some things I've never seen before on all the times I've read Proverbs. Yay!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Day 45 of 90: Halfway

Okay, I am still not caught up but I am getting there. I had to share one verse that really spoke to me today. Psalm 119:109  My life is continually in my hand.  I think I tend to want to blame everyone else, including Satan, for what is going on in my life. But it's not true. My life is in my hand. It's up to me. I can decide to follow Him or I can choose to go down a different path. It's all up to me. He won't force me to follow Him. My choice, my decision, my life is continually in my hand.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Day 44 of 90

Okay, I am getting closer. I am about a day and a half behind. Slowly but surely I will be back on track.

And today marks the technical halfway point. If you read on the schedule and are not behind, you finish in 88 days. There are two grace period days built in. So, yay! I'm okay and not doing to bad. I can still finish in 90 days.

And I've lost my blogging mo-jo. It's just gone right now. I think it's mainly because I'm behind. I just can't get over the fact that I'd be blogging about something from the day before (or the day before that). So, I'll just read until I can get back on track with blogging. That works.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Day 43 of 90

I'm moving right along. I am now only 2 days behind.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Day 42 of 90: Pride

Psalm 10:4 The wicked in his proud countenance does not seek God; God is in none of his thoughts.

It has been a rough week for me. Nothing major, but busy. Then, somehow, in the midst of the business, my Bible reading slacked off. One minute, I'm right where I should be and then, bam! I'm three days behind.

The first time I did the Bible in 90 Days Challenge, I did great the first couple of weeks. Then I got a day behind and stayed a day or two behind the entire time. I ended up finishing in 91 days, so with the two day grace period, that meant I finished three days behind based on the schedule.
But I finished and I was very proud of myself. It was the first time I'd ever read the whole Bible and I was very proud of the fact that I finished.

Then this new challenge came up. I didn't even know about it until a few days, maybe a week, before. But I was immediately on board. I wanted to to do it again. And I have enjoyed every minute of it. From the beginning I was determined to stay on track and even get ahead in my reading. And I was accomplishing what I wanted to. And I was proud of myself.

But somewhere along the line being proud of my accomplishment twisted into me being prideful and cocky. I was doing it again. Look at me, I'm reading the Bible super fast. Haha, 90 days! I'm so special.
But my feet have been knocked right out from under me. While I have read the Bible every day, I have not been able to keep on track with the 90 day program. And I have only myself to blame.

This makes me feel so sad. I wanted to stay focused and on track. But I let my sinful nature take over.
Now, what's left to do is to read and read and read. I have to gain back my focus. I need to keep Him number one, the main focus of my life. I can do it. I can do what I should have done the first time around. I am putting Him at the top. He is who I am going to focus on.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Day 39 of 90

Psalm 8

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory above the heavens.

From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise 

because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?

You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.

You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet:

all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea,

all that swim the paths of the seas.

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Day 38 of 90

Still Job. And I got nothing. I'm going to take the night off. More tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Day 37 of 90

Job. Now that's a name. I think we all know the name Job. I have this idea in my head about who Job was and what his story is all about. But it's what I've heard others talk about. And now that I'm 23 chapters in, I still don't always get it. I mean, I get that he was a good man, and God allowed Satan to mess with him. But when Job's friends come along, I never got that they were saying he deserved it.
I really want to spend some more time in this book. I can't right now, but later, when I'm through with this challenge, I can go back.
A-ha! The beauty of the Bible in 90 Days Challenge, going back and digging in once you're done. I love it! This makes me want to dig in and get more and more of His Word! Awesome!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Day 36 of 90: Esther

Esther 4:13-14  “Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” 

I love this passage. Well, I love the entire story of Esther. What's not to love? You have a queen kicked out of the palace, a new queen who is just a commoner, a murder plot, an ethnic cleansing plot, and a woman who saves her people. It's wonderful.
I try to imagine what Esther must have felt. What an awesome responsibility on her. She could have been killed for her actions. And yet, as Mordecai said, she would not have escaped anyway. Her duty was to protect her people, no matter what.

But the thing that stands out the most is when Mordecai says, "For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place". Isn't that true all the time, even now? God's plan will still come about, no matter what we do. He was never going to allow the Jews to be wiped out. Esther didn't have to be the one to step into the role that she did. God would have put someone else there had she chosen to not to act. But think about how wonderful her reward will be. She fulfilled the role God had set aside for her. He put her in such a place as He did to do what she did. And she stepped up.

I hope I can step up when He calls me. Even when it's hard, even when it seems impossible. I want to do what God has called me to do no matter what.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Day 35 of 90

Nehemiah is a great book. The first chapter has some great verses. Nehemiah 1:6b-7 I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against you. We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.
I love that Nehemiah is praying on behalf of all the Israelites. He cares about everyone and he wants God to be with them all.
Nehemiah 1:8-9 "Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, 'If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.'
I love these verses. Nehemiah is reminding us of God's promise.

Annnnnddddd, that's all I seem to have tonight. It's late, I'm tired, tomorrow will be busy. Good night.  ;)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Day 34 of 90: A New Start

Boy, do I feel better tonight. I gotta tell you, this week has been hard. Last Friday, I was 2 days ahead in my reading, 2 full days! I felt good about that. By the time Monday rolled around, I was feeling a little cocky. (Man, is hindsight 20/20.) I knew the week would be busy. Dino was starting football. I assumed there would be at least 2 practices, but wasn't expecting 3, two hour long practices. This is the first year he has played so I really didn't know what to expect. So that always changes the day, because I have to be ready to leave the house by 5:30. Dinner has to be finished, the other boys content enough to stay with Nanny, etc. Then there was the added excitement of Frog's birthday. I had to go shopping for his gifts, and somehow find time to do that by myself (Monday morning) and then find time to wrap the gifts (Friday) and shop for his special dinner (Friday) and make his cake (again Friday, but had wanted to do it and wrapping on Thursday). Then I found out that Dino had to have a physical in order to play football. Somehow I managed to get one for Tuesday.

So for me, it was already a busy week. And on Monday I thought that since I was 2 full days ahead on my reading, I'd be totally fine for the rest of the week. Well, as they say, that's what I get for thinking. I had no way of knowing dad would end up in the hospital Thursday. I had planned to get most of Frog's birthday stuff done on Thursday. But then, I expected that mom would be there all day and I'd have backup, someone to make sure the boys were happy while I was wrapping presents and making a cake. I also had no idea that football practice would be rained out on Thursday, when I was expecting to get a lot of reading done. So, somehow, my 2 days ahead had evaporated. And I went to bed Thursday right on schedule. And went to bed on Friday a half day behind.

Sigh. But God is always faithful. I prayed and asked for His help. I wanted today to bring my focus back on Him. And even though I'm tired and dad is still in the hospital, and I still have three wild boys running around, I managed to focus more on Him today. I got all my reading done and I'm now caught back up. I realize it was only a slight fall back, but I haven't been behind a single time this whole 34 days. The last time I did the Bible in 90 Days, I was at least a day behind from about 15 days in. And stayed that far behind the whole time. I didn't want it to happen this time.

And after this small setback, I am going to dust myself off and start again. God is right here beside me and I know why I'm doing this. It's all for Him. I need to remember that. It's not for me. It's not so I can boast that I've done this. I'm doing this so I can learn more about Him. I know me. I don't need to study me. But Him, wow, I need to learn everything I can about Him. And the way to do that is to read His Word.

And He showed me what I needed today in my reading. Ezra 9:9  For we were slaves. Yet our God did not forsake us in our bondage; but He extended mercy to us in the sight of the kings of Persia, to revive us, to repair the house of our God, to rebuild its ruins, and to give us a wall in Judah and Jerusalem.
He will never forsake me. Never. He is always right beside me with open arms. It's up to me to walk in.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Just me

Just me tonight. I'm still a bit stressed, not as bad as yesterday. My dad is still in the hospital. It looks like there's definitely something going on with his heart. The docs want to check it out thoroughly. He hasn't had some of these test since before his bypass surgery so there could be a lot different. For now, he's stuck in the hospital until they can get the tests run. With it being a weekend, it's possible he'll be there until next week. We'll see. In the meantime, we pray.

We did Frog's birthday tonight. We're a very low-key family. Birthday's are just us, those of us who live in the house. So I've been busy today. I went to the store for last minute stuff this morning. Then I came home and made a cake. The kids ate lunch, I waited for a phone call about dad. Hub ran some errands and did yard work. He also went to the neighbor's funeral. Then I made dinner and Frog opened presents. Then cake and ice cream. The end.
It was nice. He did ask me to make sure I took plenty of pictures to show Poppa when he got home. The older two boys keep asking if Poppa is going to die. With Hub's mom dying not long ago, and with the neighbor dying, it's on their minds. And it worries them. This touched so close. Being that we live with Nanny and Poppa, they have developed very close relationships with them, much closer than with their other grandparents. And they would have a hard time if something did happen to Poppa.

So, anyway, forgive me for not making a post about my Bible reading. My plan is to make it my first priority for tomorrow. I'm praying.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Day 32 of 90: Stress

I am completely stressed out today. It's Frog's birthday, but Hub had to work so we're doing his actual celebration tomorrow. And yesterday, our neighbor died. He lived with his mother, who is home bound and in her 80s, and he was in his 50s. He wasn't completely right in the head. (can't think of a better way to phrase that right now) My mom has looked out for them for years now, we all do. One of us always picks up their mail (all the boxes are down the hill), we often take a meal, mom does their shopping.
Well, all of this started when the son got sick a few years ago, cancer. He'd been getting worse, but really went downhill just in the last few weeks. God provided mightily in it all; his sister had come for an extended visit and is here now. So she was able to be a great help in his last few days.

Anyway, that added to the stress level, but even more was added today. Today, dad came home early from work. He wasn't feeling well. He is in congestive heart failure (2 heart attacks over the past 13 years) and has COPD. His blood pressure and his pulse kept dropping. Finally, he decided to call the nurse line at his doctor's. She said come straight in. Mom took him to the VA and they admitted him. His heart is not beating correctly. The doctor thinks he can fix it with a change in medication, but he needs to stay in the hospital while they fiddle with the meds. So that definitely kept me in a stressed mood all day today.

I'm feeling better now that I've heard from mom and know that he's feeling better.
Here's where God comes in, only, I should say, He's been here all along, I just forgot to look.
I had highlighted a section in my Bible to write on for today's reading. I'm a day ahead in the reading, but I can't seem to write my post as soon as I finish, so it's always a teensy bit faded. So, as I sat down just now to see what to write about, I found it very interesting that what I had highlighted was 2 Chronicles 15:4 but when in their trouble they turned to the LORD God of Israel, and sought Him, He was found by them.  Hmmmmm, wonder if I would have been less stressed today if I had been seeking Him as I should have been? How did I manage to leave God out of my day? In the hustle and bustle of life, I just forgot. Even while still reading my Bible. But I was reading more as an "I have to read X number of pages today" type of way and not in an "I can't wait to read God's Holy Word today and find out what He wants me to see" kind of way. And I did not pray at all today. D'uh! I don't usually forget. But I did today. And now, looking back, I can see why I was so short tempered with the boys, and why I felt like my pulse was racing several times, and why I felt so completely overwhelmed by today. I forgot to talk to my best friend. And talking to Him always puts me on the right track.

I'm sorry Lord. Please forgive me. Please help me to remember that I need You, that I don't have to do all this alone, You are there, You care, and You want to help me through this life. If I take it all to You, You carry my burdens. Father, please help me remember that. I love You. ~Amen.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Day 31 of 90

Today the verse that jumped out at me was 2 Chronicles 6:12-13 Then Solomon stood before the altar of the LORD in the presence of all the assembly of Israel, and spread out his hands (for Solomon had made a bronze platform five cubits long, five cubits wide, and three cubits high, and had set it in the midst of the court; and he stood on it, knelt down on his knees before all the assembly of Israel, and spread out his hands toward heaven).

I love this verse. Solomon is praising God, raising his hands in the presence of the Lord. Too often we are afraid to worship the Lord with abandon, to lift our hands in praise. We are concerned that someone may be looking at us or think something bad about us. We even think we shouldn't do it.

Growing up, I never knew of people who lifted their hands in worship, or danced for the Lord. That kind of worship wasn't discussed. As I got older, I learned that it was okay. I still didn't feel comfortable with it, but I realized that others did. Then I started going to a church where most of the people felt able to praise God however they felt. It was beautiful. It felt right to me.

Then my brother got married. One of his wedding pictures is the most beautiful picture I have ever seen. He and his wife have one arm around the other and the other arm is raised in praise to our Creator. Their faces are just so stunning in the way that they are so focused just on Him. The picture is breathtaking.

I want that. I want to worship Him with such abandon that I am able to lift my hands if I desire, to dance if the feeling comes, to sing to His glory. I'm not saying that everyone has to worship like that all the time, but it's nice to know it's not forbidden. I mean, if Solomon could spread his hands toward heaven and if David could dance for the Lord, well then, I guess I can raise my hands when I'm singing to Him.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Day 30 of 90: A third of the way there!

This is going to be short and sweet. I am tired.
A couple of verses stood out to me today.

1 Chronicles 15:13 For because you did not do it the first time, the LORD our God broke out against us, because we did not consult Him about the proper order.
We should always do what God wants us to in the proper order and the correct way. He has a plan, we should follow it.

 1 Chronicles 16:15 Remember His covenant forever,
That one doesn't need anything added.

Those two just jumped out at me.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Day 29 of 90

I'm not gonna lie; reading this section was not easy. I was often tempted to just skim. I mean, the first eight chapters of 1 Chronicles was nothing but name after name after name. But it's there for a reason. I don't know the reason, but I trust that there is one.

And I have given up my morning coffee, two days now, so I have a headache and am feeling yucky.
But no matter what I keep hearing in my head, those little voices telling me I can slack off and not read as carefully right now, I am not going to listen. I am reading God's Holy Word, and I intend to read every single word, every single begat, every single name. I know that He will speak to me in this reading. I know that He is there, right by my side, cheering me on as I read.
And so, no matter what, read I will. Even when it's hard.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Day 28 of 90

2 Kings 17:7-8 All this took place because the Israelites had sinned against the LORD their God, who had brought them up out of Egypt from under the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. They worshiped other gods and followed the practices of the nations the LORD had driven out before them, as well as the practices that the kings of Israel had introduced.

It seems so odd, but it's really that simple. All of the evil, the bad in the world is because of sin. It's all because we have sinned against the Lord our God.

2 Kings 17:13 The LORD warned Israel and Judah through all his prophets and seers: "Turn from your evil ways. Observe my commands and decrees, in accordance with the entire Law that I commanded your fathers to obey and that I delivered to you through my servants the prophets."

He has told us. We have no excuses. The Bible is here for us to read and to learn from.

I just wish that I could remember that.